PSP2

now that PSP2 paper has past, im much more relieved.

talking about the paper.. my first reaction when i read the questions was "OH SHIT. WHAT ARE ALL THESE". tried to calm down and concentrate on it. okay, i got the hang of it. but the thing is, i forget all my old PSP1 concepts already. things like: how to get source from a textfield (i mean strings), how to use the If...Else statements. tried to remember it all. i did. but just wasnt sure if its 100% right.

EVP's tomorrow. and im so darn worried about it. not that im not prepared. just that im so scared.

William finally replied my email. i was so darn scared i forgot to click send. he modified my answers already. just have to learn it later. i do hope to get the hang of EVP but im just so used to PSP now that the different terms used in EVP is so unfamiliar to me.

omg. am gonna work in it later.

[edit] a face keep appearing in my mind. yes, that's you. everytime i see you, i dont know what im feeling. happy? sad? or whatsoever i dont know. i just have mixed feelings. whether to like or not to like is still a mystery to me. should i count the petals of a roses or should i just sit around and do nothing? all these coldness are making me numb.. [/edit]

Emogirl*

i just wanna say: i cant ignore this feeling im getting. its just like asking me to ignore the cars when im crossing the road. this saying is so right "only love can drive away hatred" but then will a leopard change its spot?

whats wrong with me?

yes i know there bound to be somehing wrong with me but no one's perfect. and the more we try to be perfect, the worst we get. what am i supposed to do?

i just felt that no one can understand how i feel cos if i put it simply, they all have their own clinque(is it the correct word?). i dont. i feel so awful everytime i see it going this way. i just dont understand why. ive had this feeling since i step into secondary school. and this feeling is haunting me.

why me?

grrr. ahs wadeva. there's just not much time for me to talk about it.

its just all in you.

_____alone______

Wan Yu

AHHHH! my dad off the wireless!! and then i have to write what happened again!! grrr.

well, i mentioned that Bryan's girlfriend, Angela, reminds me of the past. a girl who looks like her too.

if im not wrong, her name was Wan Yu. but i seriously disappoint her.. and hurt her.

this was what happened:

at the tender age of 8, me and Wan Yu were like the best of friends. she was a very pitiful girl. she had very little money for food in school and everyday when she goes home and get to school the next day, her arms would be filled with blue-black bruises. why? due to her bad results.

her mum keeps wanting her to do the very best, stressing her. i forgot how, but we became the best of friends.

i forgot what happened but i only remember that one day i quarrelled with her in the canteen. the last sentence i said to her was "okay, fine. if you can, return me ALL the money ive been giving you to buy food!!" she cried.. and then we were strangers after that.

i was just 8 years old, hence my childish actions.

after we graduated from pri school, i saw her on the street in commonwealth sec uniform one day. we just smiled at each other like two complete strangers..

what has past, has already past. but i regretted my actions =(

now i dont know how's she doing and stuff. i hope she's doing well.

back to now. had been studying with Lu long, Wen Feng and Zhen Hwang(pardon me if i spell wrongly) nowadays. luckily Lu Long asked me to go to school and teach him today, if not i wouldnt know that im actually still half-bucket (in chinese, ban tong shui) in PSP2.

saw real side of Wen Feng and Zhen Hwang. seriously so damn shocked. haha.

Inuyasha

as promised, this is the picture me and Wenna took yesterday. ahha. caught me updating alot nowadays harh? i dont know why i have so much to blog. LOL.

anyways. i watched Inuyasha second movie just now. it's titled Castle Beyond The Looking Glass. and it has a nice song which goes like..

will there be strength in this land
flowers in this field
and love in this heart..
listen,
the murmuring of life i heard when i pressed my ear against it..
yes. i remember..
i was enveloped with warm heartbeats.
people pretend to be oblivious to the voices and pain of others.
but please do not be fooled by these ugly faces.
please live in love, right now.
born in this world,
what is reflected
in your eyes?

Blessed

Wenna wanted to borrow PSP2 to copy the answers. but i had to study, so i photocopy for her instead. then met her at Jurong Entertainment. i was outside Long John Silvers cos i was looking whether Yen Loo is working today. when she told me she is walking out of Macdonalds, i turned back. i was shocked. why? i saw SYLVESTER SIM. oh gosh. i must say he looked cool. oh well, im not in lurve with him like im in lurve with JAY. so i felt nothing special.

Wenna claimed that my shocked face looked stupid. but i assume she's jealous that i looked cute. HAHAs.

we went around hunting for Sylvester cos i was thinking it'd be nice to tell others i met him. it wasnt something glorious anyway. he's a Singaporean after all. not some Taiwanese singer or whatsoevers.

kept discussing how we could have get close contact with him. Wenna ended with the "might as well go over and hug him saying 'hi darling!' and then go 'oops sorry. wrong person'" but i personally think she might get mistaken for sexual harrassment. evil thinking she have. to think of it, when has she ever been nice? okay lah.. just this once.

went to look for Bryan in Popular. Wenna keep telling me its impossible for me to buy Ban Dao Tie He cos who would want to transfer just a book from Taiwan? but i must say she got me fooled all along. she was so dumb that she placed the book at the "Today's Literature" corner. got scolded by me in the end for being so dumb.

Wenna, are you dumB? are you duMb? are you dUmb?

i feel so blesssssssssssssssssssed cos i know Bryan. i just cant put my gratitude into words. he has helped me so much, treated me so well that i cant believe this is happening. like he helped me with the new Jay Concert CD and then helped me got the Ban Dao Tie He, together with discounts and stuff. most importantly, he got me something i wanted so much, the metal box which came with Jay's Qi Li Xiang album. initially i thought im gonna have one only. but who knows he gave me two along with his little little Xie Zhen Ji book. so sweet of him.. im so blessed.

well, if you're reading this.. i wanna take this opportunity to thank you again.

*Thanks Bryan*

What a day

went out to discuss about our MMA project with Wenna. finished discussing and then met up with Kai Ling cos Wenna wanna pass her the Hello Kitty prize she won. found out that our projects are actually similiar. that sent me and Wenna in despair cos we have to think of another idea again =//

as me and Kai Ling desperately wanted to find a pair of beach shoes, we went to Bugis. erm.. in CASUAL clothings. later i will post up what we wore.

was very tired in the MRT cos there werent any seats for us so we sat on the floor. when we reached, we went around loh. went to FreshBox, Poh Kim, some sports shops but to no avail. i suddenly remembered that there's one slippers shop in Heeren but then we dont know the price. didnt want to end up sad cos of the price, ya know.

since it was kinda early, we went to Heeren. found the shop. man, the price is reasonable for the material used. but its ex for us. the range is like 22 to 50 plus bah. im not sure. its expensive cos it made use of rubber to make the hard base.

walked to Flash N Splash and found really nice slippers - but they were for guys. there werent the smallest size at all. *sad* when we were outta that shop, i heard my darling singing. so i suggested going to HMV loh. man, they were playing my darling's CD. so happy**

headed to Taka (that's even worst cos that place is so high-class) and to Cineleisure. then went back home cos we were all so tired. outside Cineleisure, we were like a bunch of stupis girls as i wanted to prove Wenna that its due to the city lights that there's very few stars in Singapore. but she insisted in saying its due to the clouds. alright alright. you're partly right too. but then you did saw the contrast between the clouds and the sky rite. the sky was dark blue. the cloud white. and you dun see white clouds spreading the night sky. im still right!!

yes yes. forgot to mention i saw a huge magazine with my darling on the cover. he's so shuai!! my god my god. the price is reasonable. 10 bucks. but then im broke. i still owe Kai Ling and Wenna money. haha. ~.~ if only someone would buy it for me o.O

this guy over at Bugis Village is so crappy. he went like "you all sec wad ah" then i was like "HUH! we look like secondary sch girls oh". he's so crappy he say "then you all what pri sch one?............................. what kindergarden?" getting more and more crappy. but cute lah. hahahaha.

okay okay. last but not least, now for the picturesssssss~~~

this was what we wore. so paiseh. all shorts. hahahah. i was sooooo clever. i suggested taking pic of the mirror reflection. was in the train.

this is our foot wear. okay. this is taken to insult me. as i wore slippers. )(^%$^&()

and then my darling!! so handsome rite!! cost only ten bucks!! anyone willing to buy for me!! its available in KinoKuniya of Bugis!!!!

i almost forget to mention that we actually saw a pair of COMMON-LOOKING slippers with a POOR FRICTION BASE. guess how much it cost. it cost $157.50!!!!!!!! its actually $150 but that's the price after GST. man oh man. cos we were walking around Taka and then saw this shoes. it looks nice alright but the common looking type that kinda nice.

when they walked away, i squat down to look at the price. "$157.50", it says. i even opened my eyes as wide as possible and indeed, it is $157.50. still dont believe it and i went to check the other pair, thinking they might have place the decimal place wrongly. NO. it is $157.50. who would buy such slippers?!!

haha. as we think that usually rich people dont dress properly, almost like what we wore yesterday. i went like "hey Kai Ling, you want to buy this not?", talking about the $16.80 slippers. then she said she dont know. "i think i should buy the $157.50 slippers instead" was wad i said. muahahahhaa.

so lame. but when i asked them how much they think the slippers would be, they guessed its $19 plus to $50 plus. and when they heard the price, the immediate reaction of Wenna was to run to the slippers and see. HAHA. try looking for that the next time you guys go to Taka.

Bazaar Fun!

had a fun day today. the day starts with me being late for half an hour (as usual) and then reached there and did nothing. entertain ourselves abit. and then it was real bored. went to Anderson Road with Wenna to take the strawberry smiles. she's really dumb =p she only know that she needs money to get there.. but didnt realise she need money to get back too.

in the taxi i was like asking her if the place is far and that we have enough money for the trip to and fro, she was like.. oh ya! i forgot we need money for the trip back! -.-; this shows she really needs me.

then went to ka jiao Alex. initially pestered him to buy me the magazine with Jay's cover. but then its just a travel guide rather than a magazine. so didnt buy it. he wanted to buy me stickers but then i dont want. when i want it, it was too late. he went back home. hahas.

Jian Qi dedicated songs for us and then for Theresa too. so sweet of my ah gong. haha.

the balloons Kai Ling's brother got for us flown away. stuck at the ceiling.. i wanted the balloons back. i dont know why. so i signalled to the guy in green who is the tallest to get it back for me. haha. he jumped and almost got it. so we got him a chair. cant reach. when he was trying real hard, it sorta flew away further. and then he got down and jumped up. got it!! man! he was like my hero sia. hahas.

when he was done with the task, he went like "huh, no token of appreciation ah" but then he didnt mean it.

had the urge to dedicate song to everybody. wanted to dedicate the song "Glory Of Love" by New Found Glory with the message "to everyone out there. today is the last day of the E cup challenge, so lets work hard cos we did it for the Glory Of Love!" but they dont have the song..

searched the suitable song for a long long time. and then i saw "That Thing You Do" by The Wonders. and thought that since no one had dedicated the song, so i shall do it. and then i added the message "To everyone out there especially 1mo5 and the guy in green who saved the balloon. enjoy yourself and have fun!" haha. the DJ, Jeremy, went like "har?! saved the balloon?"

i was kinda afraid the guy wouldnt hear the dedication so i tried means and ways to try to tell him but then too shy and it was supposed to be a 'surprise' and then im lucky he heard it. the other guy at the stall was like "sia lah, dedicate song for him sia. i also want" then i told him to save the balloon lah.

the balloon flew away again. hahas. but its even harder to retrieve it now. so i said goodbye.

i saw the other stall displaying the Incomparable to Jay concert poster. but i knew im getting it. so i just sat there and admired it. saw somebody bought it. then came the next display. THE HANDSOME "THE ONE" CONCERT OF MY DARLING! oh my oh my. my immediate reaction was to pull Wenna with me to the stall.

initially they said it is for 10 bucks then we negociated (did i spell correctly?) till 7 bucks. wanted to buy the rest.. budden no money T.T

as we were all wanting to get the E Cup, not cause of the trophy but cos of the other stalls' earnings, we decided to merge with the Maris Stella and Henderson schools. when we were all settled, the judge did not allow us to merge. he was unhappy cos he's the mentor of the winning team. but what the. ahhs, whatever.

apart from all the disputes, i had a little sweet surprise. i was slacking around at the stall as usual, feeling so tired and sick of the arguments, this guy from the stall i bought my darling's poster from came over. he went like "this is for you" holding the huge poster of my darling. man! i was so touched i think i blushed!! i was filled with happiness. i almost teared. sooooo touching sia. *sob sob* so sweet of them. hahas. i'll remember them forever.

also cos they wanna clear stock lah. budden.. so sweeeeet.. =]

that was my greatest happiness for today =D

next up was the lucky draw from Macdonalds. Kai Ling's name was called, and then Wenna went to retrieve it from her. then i heard Jian Qi's name. man, i was Theresa's 'lucky star'. if not she wouldnt get the gift. hahas.

as i know my sister has always been lucky (she went to the open house), i was thinking desperately how am i supposed to get the prize if her name is called. then i saw Mike's godsister. they were announcing the last winner "... and the last winner goes to someone from HuaYi Sec! Li Ting!" i panicked and then pleaded Mike's godsis to get it from me.

i panicked. she came over and asked me the handphone number. i thought she's not gonna get it. but she got it anyway..

and then went home like an auntie. full of free gifts. man =// feel so tired now. but wanna maple.

made friends with people from Maris Stella. people like Ivan, Daniel and Francis. also with Shaun from Henderson. the xiao pang!! haha.

guess i blogged alot. a long entry. hahas. just a recap of what happened.

my happiest thing is still the free Jay's poster!!

am listening to my darling's live CD now. he's just so great. listening to his xiao, a chinese orchestra instrument solo.. so sweet. he's just so talented =D

Untitled

bazaar has been quite fun. apart from those mood swings i had, i made a few friends bah. lol.

some include students from Henderson Secondary School who had a stall just opposite us. they supported us by buying the combo meal today and me, Kai Ling and Wenna supported them by buying badges. hmm, i designed those and they love it very much =)

and then this guy who went for the SB meeting recognised me. kept walking past our stall and keep wanting him to buy something. haha.

my friends werent that supportive. most walking away when i asked them to buy something. oh well.

business was good. already the best but then we still cant win the stall which Jay's-eyes-look-alike set up. they had like 280 and 380 sales figure for yesterday and today.

there was this time when it was so embarrassing. as Suhami from my previous IS class is known as Xiao Bai by our classmates, i accidentally called him that when my classmates frantically called me to tell me there he is. man, his friend was laughing and i was so paiseh.

and then saw the Sylvester-look-alike and Chucky-look-alike.

Alex sang songs for the open house. not bad lah, he supported our stall. haha. and he's gonna treat us lunch too. LOL. cos we've been very caring little girls to him. HAHA.

cant think of anything right now. feeling really bored.

Don't ask me why

i dont know why nowadays im feeling so moodless. why am i getting so worked up over little matters? though i didnt really speak it up..

i feel im sick and tired of everything. i dont know why. is this just PMS?

the day when i feel relieved is perhaps Tuesday.. only for a pathetic two hours. im free from my trouble at that time only.

am i pathetic? or what?

apart from my tired eyes cos i wear contact lenses, its like i just cant seem to stand high pitched noise around me. its making me feel sick. making me feel like hitting the thing that is producing such irritating sound. but i stayed calm..

is it just that my attitude suck?

if my attitude really suck, please tell me. i wanna change to make myself feel comfortable... feel happier..

im just alot more 'sadder' nowadays..

//built-up emotions in me.. but i just cant let it out..

ICT idol

came back not long ago from ICT Idol. man, got to see many good singers from ICT. well, Alex got the 4th place but its very good already. thanks to my 2 votes bah (sound as if 2 is very big =p).

the number 12 contestant has got eyes like Jay! sooooo small!! that's not an insult.. cos i love Jay! oh my god.. no wonder when i was standing at the notice board, i kept looking at his photo feeling very familiar. heez.

then saw the magician show. oh my god, Jeremy was great! all of us went like "OH NO OH NO!" its so nice to watch live magic show!! tian ahhh~~~

heard songs sang by the Song Composing Club. the guy sang really well. he's really suitable for rock and pop english songs. whatever he sings is just so nice.

then came the lucky draw part. Squid was so cute. lol. she was like announcing the numbers: "two..." then this guy who had the number two on his ticket got all excited and stood up. then Squid said "no lah no lah.. two zero three". man, he was so paiseh. his fren purposely laughed the loudest.

fortunately the person who got chosen didnt come out. so another ticket was drawn. it was soooo lucky. the number is two!!

haha. luckily in the end he got it. didnt end up so embarrassing at all.

one of the judges comment bad on Jay's song! $%^&*(*&^%$#%^&*()*&^%$%^&()

had fun on the whole. actually relieves me from what has been happening. bad family problems. sighs.

well, i thank Alex for being so concerned about me =) keep asking me to take care, thanks.

Kill her!

i think jie has been too much already.

i got to know what exactly happened yesterday when she quarrelled with pa. and im sure you guys will think she's a heartless beast.

when pa said he dont want to sell it to her. she threw the n6670 manual book and the box at pa. pa got angry and then walk to her and slapped her but he missed it. cos jie was sitting on the sofa, so used her knee to defend him. pa hit her knee instead. and felt painful. cos the knee is so hard.

then jie actually used both her legs to kick pa at great force!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE ALMOST FELL!

she's so heartless.. pa is like 52 already.. riping old age.. yet she did that.

to think about it, she really has no heart. pa and ma always went the extra mile for her. like if she wants to eat blabla, they would buy blabla. cos if they said no! she will get angry.

she's always like that. i HATE her!

I love everyone except her!

i hate my jie! i really hate her!

she thinks everyone in the family is indebted to her! like today, she went like "clean the area, i need space to eat". i was mapling and so i said "wait" she just came over and placed her food on my book! what the fuck!

i shouted back at her and then we quarrelled. and then ma came over to scold her. she even scolded back at ma! i hate her! and then ma cried! i must say her english is very bad and yet she still wanted to use english to scold ma!

ma was like saying "you scold me can, but dont scold my ma" then she said "i wont scold your ma! i love her like shit" what is that?! she idiot. is she gonna tell her bf next time "i love you like shit"?!

i hate jie! i hate jie!

she wasted so many years of studying! she knows her standard.. she is an normal(technical) student. yet she wanna take Os. went to YMCA and her results are like shit! NO PASSES. all seven and eights and nine or absents. how worst can that be?

and then now she's in the bloodly laselle and wasting her bloody years! school fees are as expensive as can be and she could hardly cope! she's only wasting ma's money. i hate her! i hate her!

she keeps asking for more money. keeps thinking so much. a few years back she said that when she's 21 she will hire a lawyer to sever all ties with ma. NOW SHE'S 21 AND STILL DEPENDENT ON MA. I BET YOU A MILLION DOLLARS SHE WILL NEVER DO THAT COS SHE NEEDS MA. SHE NEEDS MONEY.

she's such a sucker. i laugh at her that she dropped her stupid n6230 into the toiletbowl. only a stupid person like her will use a hairdryer to dry it till its damn hot! is she dumb?!

then she picked a quarrel with pa when he came home. she went like "pa, i want your phone. i'll buy it" then pa shouted back at her. we all know her. she will NEVER EVER return the money.

she even owes my aunt money. she will definitely take the phone and take it as pa give her. pa scolded her. im glad pa cares for ma. at least i know he does. pa said "DID YOU EVER THINK OF YOUR ACTIONS?! YOU THINK EVERYONE IN THIS FAMILY IS INDEBTED TO YOU. AND YOU TREAT ALL BADLY. WHERE IS YOUR CONSCIENCE? YOU SAID YOU WILL RETURN ME THE MONEY. BUT NEVER! NEVER WILL YOU RETURN IT! YOU'D ALWAYS KNOW HOW TO PICK A QUARREL. ALWAYS KNOW HOW TO MAKE YOUR MA CRY!!"

i really love my family except for jie. she sucks.

last year she was saying she wanna move out. i hope she does! i hate her! she keep getting money from ma! but i guess she will NEVER do that. she needs ma! she was so naive and said "ma, you rent my room and then get the $200 rent and give it to me"

JUST WHO IS SHE?!

i guess we all must trust fortune tellers. my ma went to a fortune teller when jie was born. the fortune teller told ma to abandon jie cos she'll bring harm to our family.. but she didnt do it. jie thinks ma owe her cos ma made her had a fever and 'burnt' her brain.. costing her to me a little slower then others..

but it's not ma's fault.. she's still young.. she had to work.. i hate jie!

now i swear that i will study hard and make sure i get a good job after poly! when im 21, i will scold jie straight in the face! if she's still as hopeless as now, i will say "DO YOU EVER THINK OF YOURSELF. DO YOU THINK YOU'RE SO BIG. IM 21 NOW AND IM INDEPENDENT. CAN YOU EVER BE LIKE ME?! WHEN YOUR 21 YOUR STILL PICKING QUARRELS WITH US.. SO CHILDISH. YOU'RE SUCH A LEECH I DESPICE YOU!!!"

and if i have the money. i definitely want to sever all ties with her!!!!!!

even kor's gf treats us so nicely. she bought me and mei tee shirts on Christmas and even buy us chocolates! BUT IDIOT JIE ATE IT ALL!!! kor's gf even burn Inuyasha movie for me!! I LOVE HIS GF EVEN MORE THAN JIE! I DONT EVEN LOVE JIE!

i want a happy family.. I WANT JIE TO GET OUT OF MY FAMILY!

i admit i do talk back to my parents abit but im not like jie! i love them!

somebody just bring jie outta herEEEE!!

My favourite photo

this is the Esplanade Clarinet Section pix! totally love this pix! it was my suggestion to actually let the whole section squeeze in the dressing room! so nice and cute rite~ heez..

i aint photogenic. so dont comment!

Bazaar matters

went to Theresa's crib in the morning to do the bazaar stuff. if i had known we are not gonna do BIS i wouldnt have brought my textbook and laptop le. haha. nevermind. Wenna brought home my BIS textbook. both of us had forgotten about it.

had some very terrible issues about the bazaar.. like how much we will earn, the profits and stuff. it gave me terrible headache. very terrible. the discussion went on like mad. and then i just felt this bazaar thing is a mistake.

but what to do. i dont understand why must we have alot of profit. just have fun is the thing. abit of profit is okay. its not like we're dealing with a huge loss. but nevermind. i'll just go according to what they set bah. dont wanna talk about money issues. money is the root of all evil.

then went to Junction 8. man, have things changed alot. went to Sakae Sushi to eat.. and to try out the strawberry smiles. they're such itsy bitsy teenie weenie strawberries and then we made a last minute decision to seek Mos Burger.

that's so last minute.. but then i just go according to what they say bah. talking about how much should we sell our stuff is killing me.

there's a cute guy working in Sakae Sushi and haha, Wenna went so high when we planned to ask him to take our orders for the strawberry smiles. we even plan how to talk to him. like one person would say "er.. excuse me" to him and then Wenna will ask what's in the strawberry smiles and i'll ask him to get us a set of that. man, he's kinda cute.

when he was writing down the orders, it was so paiseh. we wanted to laugh cos its so funny. like how we planned and stuff. but we didnt want the guy to go like --; what are they thinking?! hahas.

buai tahan Wenna sia. Jian Qi haven even wanna ask her and then she 'volunteered' to say "if you ask me whether i'll choose Kunda or him, i'll choose him cos Kunda is in Taiwan. he is in Bishan. Bishan is nearer" i think she think too much liaos -____-;

borrowed Meteor Garden from Theresa. then am reading it slowly.

so bored. nothing much to do.. =/

What's wrong

i dont know why am i feeling this, i dont know why such things are happening. this is not a nice word to say but i seriously feel so fucked up. everything in my life is going chaotic. whats next?

everything i say just seem so wrong, everything i do is also wrong. then what am i supposed to do or say? i guess i should just keep quiet.

every suggestion i give just get pin-point at, every suggestion i give, what i get in return is a black face. it's so sucky. whats wrong?

this thing is near, yes i know. but im just trying to make it seem better. am i wrong for that?

am i just wash my hands off this thing?

NO!

i'll just end up making more enemies.

what am i supposed to do to make things right?

i just feel the barrier is still there. and i totally hate this.

im just a girl, why am i suffering all these?

The terrible past

forgot to add that due to my handphone line has been cut off, my dad lent me his extra line for sms and calls. and then i was browsing the phone when i saw an old message. its dated June 17 and it says "he's really into you.. later i'll call you and tell you why"

initially i thought i was trying to convince my friend not to think too much as the guy really likes her but i was wrong. i looked clearly at the number. its so familiar. yes, its her number. the one my EX left me for.

she didnt accept him back. but he left me. all those hurting moments. how i felt when he told me he's beginning to like her back.. how much he regretted letting her go.. how much he wished he had cherish her..

i teared.. that call was after work and i cried all my way back home. people might have thought im crazy. my eyes were swollen and red. my heart shattered. and i felt so lonely.

ive been so into him. ive never been so much in love before. and then he took my heart away and then broke it. what a jerk.

now my heart still hurts when i think about it. but i believe he's not for me. maybe its a bliss that he let me go.

so much for him regretting. he hurt me so.

im feeling numbed by this thing called love.

i shall never fall in love again?

maybe.. perhaps.. whatevers.

I'm lovin' it

i love sarcasm. LOL.

this specially applies to being sarcastic towards Wenna aka NaBei.

it all started when Vanita became so cute when she's being sarcastic. this is what happened:

while doing project work, Vanita asked:

Vanita: what's the difference between purpose and objective?
Me: i know i know! purpose.. is purpose. objective.. is objective!
Vanita: oh WOW! Huei Shan! you helped a great deal!

that was so cute.

and today i kept passing sarcastic remarks on Wenna.


when she said something mean and childish about me, and expecting my reaction, i said "i wont entertain such childish acts" or i'll go "HUH? i beg your pardon?" if not "you're trying to refer to yourself right.."

when she tried to be funny, i went "just leave her alone, she's trying hard to entertain herself"

and she ignored my words and Theresa did the puiii thingy, i went "that's even better than talking!"

very lame i know. but i love being sarcastic. oh mamma mia. im lovin' it.

Chobits

finished reading Chobits already. nice comic. i must agree to some things in the comics.

everyone wished for someone who only belong to them.
the heart becomes gentle when one is in love.
when you find someone who belongs to you entirely, you might find you'll start losing some things..

so on and so forth. more meaningful stuff but that's roughly all i can remember.

my face is hot now. due to SW in the afternoon. im starting to like SW but then, i hate the running.. am wondering if i can compromise with the coach not to let me run. well, i'll just do with how it is now.

Wenna is so mean.. keep laughing at the way i run, the way i throw the ball and stuff like that. but muahahas, she got hit by the ball first thing on the court. lols.

BIS is so boring. have like two assignments worr. sighs. tomorrow working on them T.T

wanna watch Meet The Fockers but then Wenna is watching with ML and i guess Kai Ling is watching with Hogan. dont know if Theresa wants to watch it not. maybe i'll approach Wendy. but then she's working now already. sighs sighs sighs.

seems like i so lucky. people around me providing me Inuyasha movies. like my brother's girlfriend who lent me the first and third movie (thought previously i got the third movie through Shurn and downloaded the first movie). but its still so nice of her.

ive been the Inuyasha provider huh. then like that i'll make Kai Ling, Theresa and Wenna pay me back by accompanying me to HMV to find those Inuyasha movies VCDs! but that will be after i finish saving money lahh.

i need more clothes and bottoms and i want more Inuyasha! oh mamma mia!

if only there's money rain.. hmmmx..

Movie Marathon again!

went to Kai Ling's crib for Movie Marathon again. this rox my world but im feeling really sinful again. oh man. yes, that meant endless munching of titbits. grrr. then we made our own breakfast cum lunch yesterday. nice food Kai Ling cooked.

well this thing for the sentence ending with the word 'bei' is getting nowhere. it all started when Wendy told me that once she made fun of her friend when he want to borrow her stuff. out of fun, she said "na bei" which supposedly should be "na ba" it was supposed to be funny but kinda rude.

i told this to them and then we started all the "zhou bei" as in "zhou ba" and stuff like that. then we played the Kai Ling is my mamma and Wenna is my ah ma. so i called them "ma-bei" and "ah-ma-bei" respectively. they were like "what should we call Shan?" then i told them "call me shan-bei"

we started creating own names and then Kai Ling's is obviously ling-bei which sounds very much like lim-bei. she said that herself and laughed at herself. as usual lahs. lol. and then Wenna crack into a very loud laughter to. to spoil her mood, i said "dont laugh hor. yours is worst: na-bei" and there she goes, her sad face =p

i continued with that ling-bei and na-bei thingy and we really sounded like our mouths are full of vulgarities. nevertheless, we had loads of fun =]

got hooked on Chobits recently and even borrowed Naruto from Hogan. am considering buying the Naruto vcds, but then ive gotta make sure its worth it. cos if i buy, ive got to buy it till the end. if not its a waste of money.

Inuyasha is so cute. listen up Wenna and Kai Ling:

INUYASHA'S MINE!

Embarrassing moments

omg omg. why do i always have to appear so embarrassing in front of him? today is the third time already.

tian ahh~~ how i wish i can just dig a hole and bury my head in it.

incident one . that happened on the Monday when i was supposed to pass him the Baller ID Bands. i wore a skirt with canvas shoes. oh mamma mia, when we were about to go to the next class which is one level below.. i kicked open the door to the stairs! when it opened, i saw him! whether he saw it or not i dont know.. but i just felt lik killing myself :'(

incident two . i got his class timetable from Leslie so i know the location, time and what lessons he have. so sometimes i do make a look out for him if i happen to have a class on the same level same block.

one day when my lesson ended, i knew he will be having lessons in 310505 (i happened to have my last lesson on the same level and same block too). that class is kinda special cos it only have a front door. so what i did was i stood out there and then look in. i cant find him but i wanna re-confirm again.

because i didnt want to make it so obvious that im looking for him, what i did was i stood a little away from the small window pane and the tilt my head to look in. when im done, i stood straight and told Wenna "dont have leh"

i saw her very surprised look and when i looked at what she was looking at, i was totally shocked. he was right there: walking towards the classroom and then in he went. i stunned cos i felt like a stupid little girl who's head over heels about him and trying to lookout for him T.T

incident three . this happened today. we are having lessons in the same block and same level (currently) and i went to the toilet. in there, i met alot of his female classmates. i know most of them and then made a fool out of myself inside cos Wenna was like grabbing me by my neck. and when we came out, Wenna is still trying to tickle me.

i looked into his classroom just once again and then as usual, Wenna overshot. she almost walked into the wrong classroom. i told her which it is then we started laughing again. she went in first, then i stood outside a while when i saw him walk past me.. soooo cutee!!

but will he ever know how much all his little actions mean to me? i always hope i can break this barrier. i wish he can smile at me when i see him. and talk to me when im online but it never happened. perhaps once or twice. i wish i wishh..

PSP lesson now. the teacher is great!

A reunion?

guess what, i bumped into Li Fang today! its been a few years since i last met her already. she's been the bad girl, lols, didnt visit Ms Tay for sooooo long. a few years long.

saw her in 157 on my way home. was so shocked. i saw her and was like "Li Fang?!" she gave the puzzled look and at first i thought i recognise the wrong person. then she exclaimed "Huei Shan!" she still remember how to spell my name :)

catch up a lot and she's gonna visit Ms Tay this New Year. hopefully i can see others too :)

well, she's still the same old girl except that she speaks more English now. of cos lah, people Hwa Chong JC leh. she couldnt really recognise me cos ive grown long hair..

haaaaa, my tomboyish past (o'-'o)

got an email regarding about the Senior Buddy thingy. so happy. this means im the top 10% of the ICT :) but then, dont know whether im going or not :( cos.. i dont wanna talk about it.

tomorrow Movie Marathon again! i bought Inuyasha volume 3 and 4 already. i paid 5 bucks more for it :( Mr Lim took away the 2nd set 50% liao. sad. i was late ://

but im still gonna have fun!

sorry Theresa that you cant join us.. but i hope you'd love Inuyasha too! :D feel free to borrow from me alright!

What's the problem?

everyone hates hypocrites. that includes me. but i believe everyone has been a hypocrite at least once. i met a hypocrite. and i just hate it when that person seems to treat me nicely in front of me and yet say bad things about me.

i mean, whats the problem with me? ive tried my very best not to make things worst. and i dont think you see me the way others do. others are fine with me. just whats the problem with me? or should i say, whats the problem with you?!

things seemed to get better on the outside but on the inside?

i think everyone should always put ourselves in others' shoes. if it hurts, it probably would hurt others too.

i dont know what to say. i'd rather you say bad things in front of me than behind my back.

stop getting people to be on your side. i do it with my own character. not by my words.

i just dont know how to deal with you.

why cant we be more like friends? as in.. no hatred and stuff. i wanna try. i seriously want.

no one wants to hurt your feelings cos we would know how you'd feel. we think of you everytime we say something but do you think of how i'd feel when you say such mean things?

what exactly is the problem?

Movie Marathon

time to blog. heez.

movie marathon was simply great! oh man! countdown to new year with Bride Of Chucky then went on to watch Inuyasha. haha. Kai Ling and Wenna also got hooked on Inuyasha already and now they're stealing my husband! T.T

Volume 4 is out!

im gonna pester my brother for $$ le. hehez.

Wenna went crazy. she came and squeeze onto my mattress and then i pinch her ears. haha. we had our ears pierced on Friday. LOL.

decided to stay for another night. pillow fight the next morning. Wenna threw a pillow at my face. then i used Blossoms to hit her umpteen times. whee! regretted le bah!!

alot of jokes here and there and then watched the crappy Q Ban San Guo. LOL. everyone laughed like there's no tomorrow.

there's this part when Zhang Fei was kicking Guan Yu and when Liu Bei saw it, he went like "what ya doing?!" then Zhang Fei replied "im killing cockroach, wanna join?" LOL.

also, when the 3 guys were surrounded by many soldiers, Liu Bei went like "dont be too happy. you guys are surrounded by me" -___-;

alot of things. andden perhaps having another MM this sat if i buy volume 3 and 4!

Empty

my blog has been empty. stayed over at Kai Ling's house for 2 nights already. had movie marathon till 4 to 5 am in the morning. and ate tons of snacks. feeling so sinful. LOL.

shall update my blog when i get home. still at Kai Ling's house ya =)

i love Inuyasha. and im sure the two of them love him too. awww. INUYASHA!