Worries

Hakuna Matana means no worries for the rest of the day.

but then i've got worries worries worries troubling me.

oh ya, my Brother's gonna get married already. but i dont know when. he and my future sister-in-law has already applied for a flat already. the good news is, their house is great, well, according to my mum.

and the bad thing is, we might move in with them. it's supposed to be good news. i mean, a new home. the reason why we might move in with them is cos my mum think it'll be unnecessary to still live in my current house cos it's too big. as in, all of us are still big already. sooner or later we'll marry our soulmates and she and my dad will live alone. so no use for such a big flat.

the bad thing is, i might have to share a room with my elder sis! yes, that is together with my younger sis too. im not complaining i cant have a room of my own. im just complaining the fact that i might have to share a room with her.

the good thing is, she doesnt really get along with my brother. so she might just rent her own room outside.

i truly hope that she will do that.

and i hope if she does that, she wont open her mouth and ask my parents for money. i think she's old enough to support herself. for goodness sake, she's already 22. it's not like she's in university and she needs help for her school fees. if that is so, i'd understand.

but NO she's not any U students.

i just think she's the sister no one would want to have. yes, that's just how bad it is.

cut the flat thingy and i shall revert the attention to my current life.

geez. oh ya, im so in love with 天国的嫁衣 OST.

it's simply sooooooooooooo nice.

i love this quote: 承诺常常很像蝴蝶 美丽地飞 盘旋然后不见

i think it's so true. it means "promises are like butterflies. flying beautifully and then disappear". somewhat like broken promises. i believe all of us made at least one broken promise before. well, if we cant fulfil the promise, we shouldnt even make it.

i wont make any promises if i cant keep them.

not anymore :D

Wendy's first day of work

Wendy started working yesterday already. alright, she keeps complaining =/ i think the reason to why she keeps complaining is simply cos she has never worked in the f&b industry @ all. hence the complaints. but i think if you worked in the f&b industry before, anything ahead of you is nothing.

i haven start working, but gotta kinda disheartened by her reactions. sighs. i just hope she would wanna stay longer loh. she said maybe she'll just work for one week and then get her pay and go off. shrugs.

she works in the kitchen mah. thats why she dont really like it.

somehow i hope i work outside the kitchen. i mean, i'll be half studying and half working mah. so working in the kitchen might be TOO tough for me. i'll look damn shagged when i attend school.

well, she's working again today and tomorrow. yesterday was like so terrible because she said the oven and the dishwasher spoilt or something like that. the others also said it's the 'terriblest'. i just pray hard today would be better for her or before i could start my first day there, she'd already quit liao =/

oh ya. while messaging her today, i sent the message to the wrong person. oh freaks. this was what happened:

after like 30mins or so, i received a call from a private number..

Anonymous: hello? you called?
Me: huh? i didnt call your number!
Anonymous: is this 9*******?
Me: Yes.
Anonymous: you sent me a message!

Me: i accidentally press wrong number..
Anonymous: WHY PRESS WRONG NUMBER!
Me: press wrong number, press wrong number LAH!
Anonymous: but why you press wrong number!

Me: ACCIDENTALLY LAH!

-i hung up the phone-

so freak right. the reason is because i listened to too much of the prank calls liao. and either the caller or the recipent is an indian. SURPRISELY, he's an indian too. it just freaked me out and the first thing that came into my mind was the prank calls.

oh my. it's just an accidentally wrong number what. what the hell.

Job hunt = No luck

basically went for a job hunt with Wendy and Zi Qian. no luck. Fish & Co asked to email our resume but i cant find the HQ email @ their site. sad.

tomorrow going down to Queensway with Wendy. its been a very long time since i last step in there.

oh ya, met Ali today cos he wanted all the Yuhua recordings. funny. talked alot with him and Wendy. the usuals lah. we were all talking about band stuff. missed him man. nothing much has really changed. except that he's taller than me now and has shorter hair. haha.

hmm me and Wendy went to eat @ The Coffee Bean today. yummyy~~~~

yup. had Brownie and Ice Blended Mocha. haha the cashier who served us was down comical. making me and Wendy blur.

the first question i asked was "hmmm, the Ice Mocha Latte right, what is it? how does it taste like? nice?" haha. he had nothing to say cos he haven tried that before. then i said nevermind and ordered two Ice Blended Mocha. then Wendy said we want Bosten Nut Brownie, he went like "WHAT? what did you say?". "she said Boston Nut Brownie" was my reply, then he said "what again?". so this time i just replied "BROWNIE". he claimed there's two type of Brownie, oh well, just finding leisure out of his work. haha.

made us laughed loh. cheeky fellow. haha.

I hate rotting!

carpe diem!

that's the new word i learnt today. it means "seize the day"!

back to what i did today. rotted around my home and then left my house @ 1715. met Bryan to pass him Naruto vcds and headed to Dohby Ghaut to meet Wenna for the workshop.

reached DG kinda early so i decided to walk around Plaza Singapura while waiting for Wenna. walked and talked and then decided we dont need exactly one hour to search for where Singapore History Museum is. so we left PS @ 1900.

walked and reached our destination. to our horror, we realised the building is renovating! omigosh. freaked out like ants on the hot pan. asked the Uncle whom we saw and realised it's gonna be @ Clarke Quay. -gasps-

just took a cab without knowing much about our destination. called Bryan for help. haha. he helped us check out that it's @ Riverside Point. reached there 10 mins late and we're lucky the host hasnt arrived.

so the talk started. the talk was given by Jack Neo and he taught us how to actually get inspirations for scriptwriting (though it was more like listening to his past life experience). learnt quite alot. he's seriously a humorous person but very mean. i mean the way he describes the people around him.

after the talk, we walked around Clarke Quay aimlessly. exploring Clarke Quay and i had wanted to show her where is Anderson Bridge. ended up telling her "there! that's Anderson Bridge!" whenever we pass by a bridge and then realised it wasnt the bridge i mentioned.

finally saw it and found Victoria Concert Hall.

oh ya, while we were walking down the streets with rows of pubs, we saw many unique pubs. one of which leaves a deep impression in us is Eski Bar (or did i spell wrongly?) well, it's like the typical bar but one thing special about it is the temperature inside. though we didnt went in, it's obvious from the outside that it's freezing cold inside cos we can see water vapours forming on the glass walls. and the guy who came out of the pub was wearing a jacket. it seems fun inside. well, i mean, it's so unique. i think i should visit it some day.

so we went Mac and eat and headed back home.

that's all for my day.

another round of job hunting tomorrow. -boringg-

oh ya. i've got some health facts which i think everyone ought to know.

Health Fact #1
on a warm day, bathe with warm water and vice versa.

why?
because when you bathe with warm water, your pores open up and absorbs moisture from the surrounding hence you'll feel cooler when you step out of the bathroom.. and when you bathe with cold water, your pores close and prevent moisture.

Health Fact #2
using mosquito coil is equivalent to smoking up to 30 cigarrettes.

amazing rite? i came across a newspaper article which proved Health Fact #2. forgot the reason though.

Second semester module results

greeted by my semester results the first thing when i woke up. the good news is, ive offically passed my semester 2! the bad news is, my results arent as glamourous as semester 1 =(((

oh well, am just glad ive passed the whole thing. here comes my results:

BUSINESS INFORMATION SYSTEMS C+
EVENT-DRIVEN PROGRAMMING A
MULTIMEDIA AUTHORING C+
OPERATING SYSTEMS C+
ORAL COMMUNICATION C+
PROBLEM SOLVING AND PROGRAMMING II A+
SPORTS AND WELLNESS PX

okay, prolly many of you here reading this dont know what these modules are about. hmm PX means pass, only for that module it's graded like that.

results has shown, im more of a programming person than a theory person.

conclusion: i need more programming modules! (except for MMA lah!!) okay, please dont kill me if programming modules are driving you crazy =)))))

almost forgot to add.. i truly hope all of my friends around me pass their modules as well. i really cant bear to see them repeating their modules =// it'll be really sad especially if that module is gonna slow down our graduating year.. i hope all i hear is good news from them. *prays hard*

Tired

worked in NP for like two days liao. am pretty tired. supposedly i should replace Hogan on Thursday, who knows there werent enough people and he had to work too. the job's very slack lah. made new friends too.. people like Elisa, Amanda, Alica, Mad, Razi and the list goes on.

well, this job wouldnt be enjoyable without eye candies. LOL. *grins* dudes like Luke (omg, he's cute), Peter and Kai Kiang (okay lah, decided to add his name in. hees). and all of them are friendly too. ended up working today also cos there werent enough people. hmm, why not? its a job where you get to talk and get paid. wheeS~~

okays. so we (me, Amanda & Elisa) crapped superr duperr loads with Kai Kiang today. he's kinda bored lah. promoting IBM lappies and stuff. understandable. i supposed the 3 of us were slacking in a pretty obvious way cos some Dell and IBM friendly peeps kept coming over and chit-chat with us. usually they'd start with "stand here and do nothing" and then shake their heads LOL.

cute lah. nice job overall. well, abit embarrassed on the first day cos Mad approached Peter and told him i think he's cute! oh man. after that i dont even start to look @ him loh. geez. but he's friendly also lah.

knocked off earlier than yesterday and then went in to ka jiao Kai Kiang. hur hur. dont know why i keep shooting him. he's shootable lah. lol. and then Peter came over and crapped too. haha. he was telling us he told this customer to check out the prices in Sim Lim if he dont believe the lappies are cheap and god knows that customer actually went to Sim Lim and check. he came back and talked to Peter. ended up not buying IBM lappy and even complaint he had to meet his girlfriend @ 630. like what the hell loh -_-;

tsk tsk

went for job hunt yesterday. shucks man. ended up Cheryl got the DCP job. sighs. the thing is, ive been job hunting for like 3 freaking days and i got no jobs. and Cheryl went out with me to find a job for fun and she got it.

i might get the job too. cos she helped me to call back and asked. but the thing is, till now i havent get a call yet. are they still rescheduling the rooster or have they forgotten about it? shrugs. felt like calling and ask.

nevermind. i just hope its cos they had to reschedule and is not done with that yet. =//

well, watched Install yesterday and i must say.. THE SHOW IS FREAKING BORING. omg. its like. f*** (words sensored). please do not watch it if you plan to. seriously, it sucked like hell. no kick, no good storyline, no nothing. freaks. i better take note who wrote that script and never watch shows written by him/her.

nothing better to write except for the no-job-status. sighs.

Girlosophy

Knowing what a girl wants

Love the girl in your heart, not in your mind. If you base your relationship on feelings, it will fail for there are ups & downs in feelings. Girls are there to be loved, not toyed around.

Love her for who she is. Don't even think about changing any bit about her. 6 billion people in this world & 6 billion different personalities. She's special & she will stay that way. You change any part of her, you'll change her forever. Don't substitute her for anyone else, they are just unique in their own ways.

Love whole-heartedly. She sacrificed a lot for you so you'd better really treassure her. She could have just got up & date a so much more dashing guy in town but she chose you instead all because of love. So love her guys, not play with her. Don't just get the girl to beg you to stay or whatsoever. If you're with her, love her.

Don't cause a strain in the relationship, you'll end up loving each other out of pity or charity, that's not respecting love at all. Respect love the way it is & everything will be the best it can be. I've been there & I know how it feels.

Don't expect perfection from her. She's the only one in the world & she's done the best she could.

Like another girl while you're in a relationship? Then I think it's time you remain single for a while. Don't go around breaking girls' hearts, it's the most tragic thing to do.

Tell the truth, never hide anything from her. If you want her to tell you everything, do the same.

Don't go calling other girls "honey" or "darling", how would it feel if your girl calls other guys the same way? Be faithful, enough is enough.

Socialise only when you're single. You socialise & flirt around is to get the girl of your dreams. Get it over when she's already yours, don't ask for more.

It never kills to be romantic. Think, be flexible. Getting that diamond ring isn't the only gift for her. Be realistic, she's human & she lives life just like you. Something sweet & simple always get the job done.

Money doesn't exist between couples, it's the love.

Never promise her that you'll love her forever because your forever might end the next day. Love her as if each day is the last.

Sweet talking only applies for singles, not for attached guys. Do that & you'll really break your girl's heart.

It isn't good being too well-known too, it'll give her a sense of insecurity. Remember, INSECURITY.

Promise her & make sure you never break the promise. Swear to her & make sure you live up to your word. Pledge your love to her & her alone.

Loving her is giving her your heart to break it but trusting her not to. Same goes for her, giving u her heart means allowing u to break it and trusting u not to. Instead, she'll cherish it & protect it. Should'nt you do the same thing as well? That's love.

Give her your heart, your life, your everything. Lay down your life & prepare to die for her when the need arises. But stay strong & live through another day, she can never live without you.

Never, ever walk out of her life. She won't just cry her heart out & carry on living as per normal, she'd die.

It's her heart that you've broken, how would you ever know how she feels?

Winning a girl's heart isn't the final victory. Don't leave her once you've won her love. Love her all the way till the end of time, love her till marriage, love her till old age, love her till death. If you can love her till the end of time, you've earned the honor & respect for you've truly loved her.

She chose you because she believes that you can fulfil your promise. Win her heart back & love her all over again.

[edit] dedicated to all guys out there. cherish the one close to you and never let her go. ya hear me? [/edit]

Swing Girls

im sooooooo glad to announce that the exams are overr!! yeap, and Cheryl asked me out last minute. saw her sms when the exam is over.

oh yes. forgot to mention, im soooooo glad that i memorise the whole os thingy! and am glad that i know how to do majority of it. wheeeee!! now i can enjoy with peace :D

met Cheryl @ somerset mrt station and i finally watch the movie Swing Girls! i must say its really very moltivating.. okay. so im starting to miss band abit.. but then =//.

the show is really fantastic. and i must say japanese bands can really play well. when the music festival in the movie was on and then sound of a band was heard, omg, i must say my hair stood. the clarinet sound were fabulous and familiar tunes were heard. oh yea, Swing Girls and A Boy rock the entire stage with the famous song "In The Mood" im so in love with jazz right now..

then met up Julie for dinner and crapped abit. im so happy that i didnt bring my card out or i'll be spending money again (:

oh before i forgot, something really hilarious happened when i was in the train with Wenna. she was like telling me "in the past, men were very cruel. they "yan" guys" i went like "HUH? "YAN"? WHAT'S "YAN"? "YAN" AS IN MARINATE? MARINATE GUYS?" i was abit loud and then Wenna couldnt control herself. she was like laughing and then trying hard to tell me not to talk so loud cos "yan" means chopping off their d*cks to be an enunch. okay im so sorry lah. haha. i seriously dont know mah. LOL.

so my day went happy cos exams are finally over :D

almost forgot to mention that there's been a number of aussies tagging my board singing praises of my blog. well, im indeed flattered. hope to make friends with them :P

Haivanas slippers

exchange concert in the morning. and then ended like 12 plus and went for lunch with Wendy, Cheryl, Yeo Lin, Mislia, Ali, Li Jia and Julie. then we thought of going to Singapore Expo for the Adidas warehouse. went there with Wendy, Cheryl, Julie, Carmen and Yeo Lin.

before i continue with what happened the rest of the day, i wanna say i feel so happy seeing Ali. the person i missed the most is him.. and then chatted with Wei Wen and Liana too. how i miss those peeps. regretted not interacting with my section and left for lunch instead.. but i heard there's gonna be a section outing this Friday. not sure whether i wanna go cos im having exams soon. sighs..

so headed down to Expo and then found out we got cheated! there arent really nice things there. and then i even had to deposit my bag! hmpH! i feel so insecure without my bag loh >.< when i go and retrieve it. the guy @ the counter serving me almost shocked me to death. i showed him my card number. it says "16" and he should bring me my Adidas bag. who knows, he looked @ me showing me an Carrefour plastic bag! oh my! how did my $60 bag turned into a bag which dont even cost 6c? haaa. he was so blur loh. and all of our reactions were o.0" then he was very paiseh.

headed down to Heeren and got my Haivanas slippers liao. got pink instead cos according to Jason (the guy working there) he think pink suits me better. he was also very blur loh. when Wendy and Cheryl asked him to choose a suitable color for me, he went like "which one?" and Wendy corrected him saying "is who" haaa. then 2 of them went off looking for the one which might suit me. who knows Jason got confused and tried to show them loh. and they went "is HER". he was also so paiseh.

a day of blur guys. lol.

went to take pictures with Julie, Wendy and Cheryl. man, it looked so nice (im not trying to praise us). all of us did stupid faces except for one. and then the effect was darn nice. love it man.. cant upload cos no scanner ): Cheryl you see this?

Wendy then left us after dinner @ Kobayashi, Cineleisure cos she had something on. then Julie, Cheryl and i suddenly have an urge to shop. went alot of shops. then each of us bought a skirt from Mango each. they went to try on bikinis -.-; not that i have a thing against bikinis but cos i dont have confidence to wear it loh.

just kept walking and walking and walking until we decided it was kinda late and then we had nothing to shop either. so took the north east line and the way back to JE. haaaa. met Nisa. whee! how much i missed her too! was looking so tired cos of prolonged wearing of contact lenses. and then she called me. asked me when's the competition and stuff and then her bus came.. i really miss her too..

then surprisely, i met Wendy while waiting for the bus. its like so coincidence cos it was so late le leh! chatted a while and then her bus came. so it was time for me to go home too.

Heart broken now

things arent going right in my life these days. i hate my life!

i appear happy and sociable outside, but deep inside ive got many problems! i feel my mood now is going downhill day by day. i feel im emotionally weak now. very very weak. my tears would just drop for minor things that happens. why!

when will this torture stop?

now, who have i offended?

Happy day!

late for school as usuals ;p and then i realised nowadays i will wake up with stomachache. sighs. dont know what's going on in my stomach -.-;

and then met him to pass him the rewritable cds for him to burn the SpongeBob SquarePants movie. kinda stupid of me. he gave me correct directions to where he is but then i got my directions wrong! ~~.~~ he said to turn right after i reach the level. but i turned left and walked all the way in. until i walk back to the staircase area and found him just near the staircase. omg.

well, he sounded so sweet on the phone. heh.

and then headed to meet Cheryl @ Bukit Batok MRT station loh. talked alot cos its been a longgggg time since we catch up with one another. first stop was Bugis. bleah. went to temple and bai bai. and then i prayed for my family's health and safety. also prayed that things would go smoothly for him too =xxx..

heee and i bought a FreshBox tee. felt kinda sinful too. cos i ate ToriQ and Tako Pachi.

this time it's really such a coincidence. haaa. met Fai, Wei Ming and the guys from my class. heh. Mike went like "this time really very qiao liao" cos we always play the "eh, so qiao" game. bleah. didnt realise they were there until Cheryl told me so. not that she knows them but she found them staring @ me thats why. heees.

next stop was Heeren. cos she wanted to try on an Adidas shirt which was available there. its nice. she kept wanting me to try BUT it cost 69.90. almost the price of my bag! so i resisted! xP

went to Hyatt hotel next. oh my. its so darn grand and the service, is of cos, super good lah! Cheryl wanted to meet her cousins mah, named Sue-Ann and Dao Wei(hope i didnt spell wrongly). well, Dao Wei look like one of my cousins. woah. and he's another pink lover. on the other hand, Sue-Ann is a sweet looking gal. with HUGE EYES. heee.

took some pictures with Wendy and Cheryl. yeap. Wendy met us later cos i threatened her to. xP.

then went to tour around Singapore with Wendy. how? by taking the bus back home. haaaaa.

had a nice day on the overall. wheee. am really happy cos its been a very longgggggggggggg time since i see many taggers already. whee whee whee!

to Esther (ugly girl xP): i miss yaaaa! so mean of you to forget my link. hmph!!

to Bryan: yeap sorry forgot your link cos that was an old set of links i used. xP. will add it up somehow later okay?

to Pei Wei (if you ever come back to visit again): i promise to go back to band this sat okay? i miss all of you guys too. will be back with Wendy bah. hee. take caree ya.

to Jesper & Xian Zhi: thanks for your caring (: my ulcer should be okay bah. i hope. heeee.

to Zaki: so mean of you not to leave any message of concern! hmph! to think im friends with ya for like 2 donkey years compared to Jesper, whom i never really talk face to face before, and Xian Zhi, whom im not that close with. shame on you! hmph!

so long, guys (:

Let bygones be bygones

have decided to strike out those crude words ive blogged these few days. decided to just forget everything. quits now?

well, had a very bad stomachache in the morning. i dont know what it was. was it gastric pain or was it what? but all i did was i dissolved a carbon pill in cold water and drank it. next minute i was on my toiletbowl (:

the pill reacted fast ya. and all the smelly substances that made me feel so miserable came all out @ once.

okay. what am i doing, grossing everybody out with my lao sai.

anyways its pretty obvious that ive changed my layout once again. i think ive been doing too much of copyright already. ripping pictures outta websites and then adding some words on it and calling it "another creation of shann*" hmm. what have i been doing all these while? i thought i hate copyrighting?

yes yes! Wenna! you stole my codes! for the colorful drop down menu! ~~.~~ already voliating the copyright laws! okay lah. im a nice girl, i'll let you off okay?

my expressions outside is so fake. deep inside, im feeling so darn paranoid. everything hasnt been going right. i just wanna lead a simple life.

the feeling of paranoid is just coming back to me. negative thinkings ruining my life.. geez! how can i live a life like that?

*screams* someone please bring me out from all these paranoid feelings!

okay. my english is getting abit cranky nowadays too.

almost forgot to ask. anyone has a special and effective remedy to cure the ulcer which hurts me so much? how can i eat my favorite food (usually unsuitable for ulcers) and @ the same time heal my ulcer? eeks. my tongue tells me its getting worst ):

Provoked or not provoked?

you mentioned you wont get affected by what i write in my blog. but why the capital letters? this shows your angered. just admit it. your just contradicting yourself. just admit that your provoked (:

i was just being nice telling you how we feel about you. its up to you to accept it. since you dont wanna accept the fact, be it then. gradually you'll lose your friends.

at least im not a coward. i dare to write how i felt when i read your blog. loser.

-------------------------------------

anyways. i dont wanna waste my time talking to some people. hmmm. had a nice and bad day today. just felt that today isnt the shopping day for me. met up with Wendy for some bag hunt. supposedly i planned to go to Orchard, then Bugis, then Queensway but ended up shopping in Orchard only.

went to Far East and tried on some FreshBox tee. found one i really like BUT that was the last piece. the rest also were like last piece! but the quality of the last piece aint good. sobx.

then went to see New World Order instead. bought the one same as Wendy. wanted to buy S size cos Wendy said it will shrink when i wash it but the designs for S sizes arent nice. so bought the XS size instead. and guess what! i then realised i forgot to bring my nets card! omg! i was like freaked out. lucky i brought the extra allowance my mum and dad gave me.

my moods were dampened by then and things didnt get better when i went into the Adidas shop @ Heeren. i saw a bag i really like! i was lik sobbing in my heart. but things got better when i saw .......... he told me he was going to Orchard with his friends. was like in distraught when i couldnt find him (alright i admit i went hunting for him) but then when i thought hopes were giving up on me, i saw him @ the balcony @ the level below where i am! heez. went crazy.

i was like in dilemma loh. i mean. i was like wanting to see him but then when i found him i just wanna hide =xxx

then found out the 2-pin-plug guy was his friend! the one named Shane! omg. i was like so shocked and kept laughing. and yea, singapore is sooooooooo small. just a red dot in the world map. lol.

met Bryan @ Jurong East cos the first thing in my mind was to buy the bag. i mean. i really want to change a bag really badly and im so afraid the shop will be closed by the time i go back home and get back again.

but im really glad i went back. went back to Heeren and then found out the bag was sold out! today is really my unlucky day(apart seeing him, that is xP)!! the guy was so nice to help me check out the nearest outlet. whether it have the bag not. yeap, then went to CentrePoint loh.

well, Wendy was like complaining alot but then i thank her for really helping me man. yeap, she got me hooked on the bag. she is @ fault too xP.

so she came to my house, blogged and everything and went home. so hungry now. but then its too late for me to eat anything liao. heees.

hereby i wanna thank Wendy for bearing with me the whole day (: and Bryan for lending me the money (so sorry to bother!!) thanks alot. a friend in need is a friend indeed (:

Warning: Read If You Can Take It

i just gonna speak up for myself now.

firstly, i would like you (i suppose you should know im refering to you) to ask yourself what has really happened. you mentioned that i dislike you and you dislike me. but wait a minute, think about why the hatred even got into my heart. think real carefully.

if i didnt remember wrongly, it all started in semester 1 when i dont know what the hell have i done/or said to provoke you, my royal highness. and then i started feeling all so miserable cos you've been outcasting for like god-knows how long it has been. do you know how i feel? i supposed you know how sucky it felt right.

but the thing is, right now, i mean this instance, think about what happened a few days ago. think about monday. what did you do. what happened? she was so kind to teach you about PSP2 and there you go, getting all so moody and even spoke to her in an unreasonable voice. i believe you also wouldnt like it either.

i mean, picture this: you are being nice teaching your friend what they dont know and they spoke to you in an unreasonable tone. almost like you had offended them. will you feel pissed?

secondly, what has happened a few days back? yes, i admit i did say you werent trying hard. and yet i helped both of them with their work but not you. but think again, that day in the classroom, did you even open your golden mouth to ask? i can now say the answer is NO. she did ask me, so i helped. and then the other she came to look @ what i was doing because she also has the problem.

get the picture now? i know you might have thought that of all people i help, there wont be a place for you. you might have heard i sent my program to him. and that it was unfair. think back again. when you asked me for my program way long ago, did i send you? if memory had failed you, please look into your received file.

yes, it wasnt a complete program. but you asked for it so i sent you. did i ever ill-treated you? i dare to say no. when you asked me about the functions and all the SUPER basic stuff, i started to get abit pissed. do you know why?

think about the day all of us stayed in school to do. she wasnt feeling well, so she was resting on the table. both of us were trying hard. and you stopped trying cos you said you're stuck. if you want to know what's the meaning of the word "Trying" in my dictionary, try recalling how hard both me and her try.

get my meaning now?

besides that, i know you cherish both of them ALOT. but dont you think sometimes your actions are too much? i supposed you thought that since you are so close to them that they wouldnt mind your actions. im sad to say, you are wrong.

many times your actions sent us all pissed off. but we kept it in our heart. recall the day in orchard. you ran away like that. were you trying to advertise for the movie "Hide And Seek"? i supposed not. all of us know every bit of your character already. you need attention. you expected all of us would get panicked and then look for you. but you were wrong. we still enjoyed ourselves. we didnt say out for the sake of you thinking too much.

back to what happened on thursday. and think real carefully. why when you were crying, eyes all swollen and sitting alone in the class, none of us (or should i say them) approached you? reason being: they(we) cant take it anymore. we no longer have the mood to cater to your needs. if you think your some royal highness please stay out of Singapore cos there aint any castle for you to live in.

ive read your blog. i felt so hurt. cos in the first place, i had never hated you. you were the one who implanted hatred in me and yet you sounded like right from the start we hated each other.

all of us have character defects. but i think you have a serious attitude problem. what will all your actions lead you to? yeah, your words in your blog hurt me big time. i teared once again i dont know why im doing that cos right from semester 1 ive sworn not to cry for this childish matter anymore. but im just hurt cos you think your one big princess and needs us all to serve you.

i had thought right from the start perhaps all your childish actions are due to my presence. i believed you think im like "snatching" your friends. but please, do you think your still in primary school? still got the snatching and stuff? if you think so, im sorry to say i dont want to join you in your childish world. i didnt deliberately "snatch" them. now listen carefully, the reason to why sometimes we 3 rather be together is because we feel happier.

they felt no freedom with you around. we felt comfortable together. all of us were ourselves when we were together. with you around, we need to wear a different mask. we cant show our true selves. now do you see the problem?

none of us dared to approach you cos we know too well you would prolly have some depression. but think again, are the both of them really so important to you that you wont mind doing anything for them? eeks. that sounds like some pure lesbianism to me. and please, they have their own freedom okay. they're not yours.

if you think all three of you will become friends for life that now you treat them like gem, i can say your wrong. friends do last forever. but not close friends. one thing is, all of us live in different locations in singapore. the closeness among all of us, i believed, will only last the entired poly life. so please stop acting so childish.

and lastly, i wanna thank you for writting that entry. i teared. yea, for some silly childish people. but through that, i got to see my true friends. through that, i know i wasnt wrong. nobody blamed me. you were the only one who blamed me. i know from the start you are blaming me but nobody thinks so. this meant i know you better (omg, i dont want to know you better. not somebody who doesnt care about me).

i also got to see who really cared for me. @ least when im crying myself @ home, my msn was kinda flooded with people who send their regards to me. and you were crying miserable that day and no one seemed to care. see it? the problem is not in me (:

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feel so relieved now. thanks for all who cared about me yesterday night. i feel so much better writing it out now.

yea, and once again, if my entry affects anyone, im sorry for it. i mean, after all its my blog, i get to say what i feel inside. ive got to stand up for my rights, and others' rights :D

The unlucky mouth

the whole day was all about PSP2, PSP2 and more PSP2. did some debuggings for Wenna and Kai Ling but then it didnt work. so was kinda worried about it. then Yong Xiang came to help but his final solution was to do it the way i did it. hmmm. haa.

and then i was the first to finish my printing, i mean, to get my materials ready to hand in and for the walkthrough later.

then 3 of us were like sitting @ the canteen for quite long. walked to Co-Op to by envelop and blank cd. were almost @ the memorable place for Kai Ling and all of us felt worried cos we were wearing slippers which has not-so-good-friction soles. while we were almost reaching the library except for a stair away, i went like "be careful orh. the last step is very very very slippery" god knows that next second Kai Ling was sitted on the floor in a beautifully feminine pose -_-;

went to the toilet cos her shirt was dirtied. thank god she wore a shirt which she can wear it inside out, outside in. maybe the shirt was worn for a special purpose. hmmm.

while we were strolling all the way to square @ 31, i thought about what time the walkthrough is when my watch reads 2.30. then i went like "PSP2 walkthrough is @ 315 rite? but you all still have to do the test plan and print out your documents rite?" then both of them went hay wire -_-;

were so kan cheong and stuff when the printer just dont map. i guess its prolly cos alot of us did the last minute printing work and the network was darn lousy. so Wenna and Kai Ling had to take turns to print their materials. and i was like the messenger. hmmm. managed to reach the exam hall @ 325 LOL.

the paper went like feelingless for me? i just did it calmly. abit like not using my brain. it wasnt like i know how to do nor was it like i dont know how to do. i dont know how to explain that feeling. no confidence i can score well neither =//

Unspoken Feelings

first and foremost, i would like to express my inner feelings. i wont care how this entry will affect anyone. cos there's this feeling inside of me dying to get out.

some unpleasant things has happened these days, dampening our moods and stuff. most importantly, we're facing an assignment deadline and assignment walkthrough tomorrow.

i would like to say that i believe everyone who is in my course would feel stressed. and that applies to me too.

the assignment half done and stuff, makes all of us panick. but the thing is, im only more willing to help someone who has tried alot.

im not trying to sound like im some programming pro but what im trying to say is, i hope that someone understand the situation. also, i dont mean to hurt the feelings of someone.

because of some emotional torment, that someone felt down and moody, up to the state of not talking to us. all of us understood what happened, and how the situation is like. how that someone is feeling/thinking. but.. alot of similiar incidents has happened so many times and that made us all felt sick and tired. hense sorry for the neglect.

we dont mean to do anything. in fact, we didnt do anything. but i hope that someone would think thoroughly. i mean, dont let emotions torment her feelings. cos that someone thinks too much and i seriously think its not our actions to cause it to happen. its more like her emotions caused it to happen.

a bit frustrated and stuff. but i dont wanna care so much. i hope such things will not happen. i mean.. please.. such feelings are terrible.

always the majority's fault

next up im gonna say something true:

has anyone ever felt that whatever things happen, its always the majority's fault? i mean. when your own clique quarrel cos of some terrible misunderstandings, and that send someone all tears and sobbing and stuff, from an outsider's view, its always "it must be the clique's fault".

i mean its natural to see things like that. just like when someone gets left out in a group, people would naturally think that the group had deliberately leave that someone out perhaps cos of something.

but then again, its always not right to judge it that way.

oh right. im gonna stop this entry cos i dont really know what the hell im talking about.

The truth

somehow i feel i should really blog on my personal feelings. due to alot of circumstances, there had been some struggling in my heart to whether i should just speak out my feelings. hmmmmm.

Howl's Moving Castle

its sunday again and guess what, i went out to meet Wendy to watch Howl's Moving Castle. a nice show indeed. Howl is so handsome. and the show is funny. haha. alot of parts made the whole cinema laugh together.

yea, and i treated my younger sister (she also went to watch) and Wendy popcorn and drink. enjoyed the show throughout and the ending song is nice.

met up with my ma later and to eat Seoul Garden. haha. okay lah. met my old colleages: people like Hafidz, Li Hwei (omg) and Naz. saw a few new faces though. and saw the "chuan shuo zhong de" Aisah (the manager whom, like all of us, dont like Li Hwei). sad to say lah.

haha. when i asked Hafidz how's Li Hwei, he was like.. no comments. lucky arh. cos just nice she walked behind him.

another manager of mine, Shannah, gave birth already. dont really like her also. cos she became evil =// she had shot gun marriage =x

but then the baby is cute larh. very cute. haha. missed the old times there. how we use to complain about the work, how we use to chat when we ate supper @ night, how we use to laugh @ one another when any of us fall down. lol.

the chairs were changed and then uniform too. @ least it looked so much nicer now :) hope all of them are doing fine now :)

A Moment to Remember

a pretty long entry ahead. please bear with it xD

met Wenna and Kai Ling @ Somerset MRT. then showed directions to Taka to the Canadian tourist named Grace. a very friendly person. first stop in Heeren was Fossil shop cos i wanna buy a Fossil watch then browsed around and got one i really like. $138 was the price. my hard earned money. gotta work during the holidays liao.

then Theresa and Jian Qi met us and so we went to HMV for a walk. then went hunting for Kenneth's present. walked here and there and found a few nice tees. settled on the blue one in 77th street. haha. the guy serving us is cute. kinda punk also. small size de.

it was so funny loh. me, Wenna and Kai Ling couldnt decide the size of Kenneth. either the tee which is within our budget is too small or has no size. how did we actually estimate his size? HAA. we used the non-living model -.-; i supposed the guy who served us find it amusing. cos he was like laughing also.

then Wenna abit not happy with the model's hair cos too long (i think they used a female's wig instead) then i tried to adjust the fringe cos she said the fringe is too long liao. it gave her the temptation to trim it. when i adjust it the first time, it seemed like they glued the wig to the model liao loh. who knows when i go and adjust it with force, the wig almost drop on the floor! omg. haha. so paiseh.

got the blue tee liao and then went Bloomington to buy paper bag. then to Taka to eat.

rushed all the way down to CauseWay Point cos me, Wenna and Kai Ling wanna watch A Moment to Remember. Kai Ling walk so fast sia. as i still owe them 5 bucks each, i gave Kai Ling a 50 bucks to go and rush and buy the tickets. in matter of seconds, she disappeared in the crowds.

called us when she bought the tickets and the timing was just right: me and Wenna were in the lift reaching 7th floor liao.

when we went in the cinema, the show has already started. prolly like 5 mins. i guess the part we left out was when the lead actress bump into the lead actor bah. the show was kinda boring @ the beginning budden the sad part came. it was the part when all 3 of us teared. and the moment when we heard people behind us unzipping their bags to search for packs of tissue. should have sought Wendy's advice to bring tissue liao.

wet the sleeve of my jacket instead. it was seriously so sad. tears just kept dropping from my eyes. tears just keep collecting in my eyes and even without any blink, the tears will just flow down my cheeks. yes, that's just how sad it is.

and for the peeps who are reading this: I STRONGLY RECOMMEND A MOMENT TO REMEMBER if you had already forgotten to cry.

when the show ended, i saw everyone had teary eyes. but for me, i had swollen eyes. that's how much i had cried. it was so sad.

the only movie in which made me cried like tomorrow'll never come. even better than WindStruck and Home Run.

bought some earrings and then headed to the BBQ place. the atmosphere was kinda weird cos there was little people we know there: close to none. then ate abit and then waited to cut the cake.

in the process of waiting, i tried to play with kids. who knows, one actually cry T.T i didnt mean to do that. i didnt make her cry. she was just scared. not me okay. everyone tried to play with the other 3 year old. but she was really so dao. she was like ignoring us when we tried to talk to her. only when i used the tic tac toe to play with her =) she only talked to me =D

what was even amazing was, she had accidentally knocked her head @ the playground cos of me. but she didnt totally 'hate' me =)

happy happy. then reach home @ abt 10. that's like 12 hours out whole day. tireddd~~~~~~

but gonna stay online though my eyes are pretty tired after all the tear dropping moments in the cinema.

this is the Fossil watch i bought: