Am missing everyone..

went back to my secondary school today. well, definitely miss everyone.. the entire 4e5. Sydney dyed his hair, Aung had 3 of his nails black (-.-;), Nicholas became neat, the rest were still the same. not everyone was there, though, but definitely the biggest bunch of ex-students of last year. oh yea, we rox!

the school kinda such now. we (ex-students) arent allowed to get in just cos of dyed hair and stuff like that. that's pretty lame. it's good that we're back cos we're grateful and yet we got such treatment. who would dare to go back if we're not welcomed?

we were like a pathetic bunch of people who stood near the entrance trying to watch the performance. walked around the place but were treated like nothing. and to think everyone rejoiced at our results during March. it's totally 2 different treatments.

perhaps they're teaching us to be ungrateful? *wonders*

went back to Ngee Ann for WAA after that. man oh man, we had library amazing race! that's so boring! everyone just can't wait to finish up. so we did some answers exchange and hurried back home.

and yes, ms hema (still prefer to call her that) is gonna invite us over her house, perhaps for a hallloween party. am so happy and looking forward to it. hope she wont forget cos she did promise that last year -_-; am wondering if its gonna be a 'real' halloween party. that will be real fun but of cos, we're all gonna worry about what to dress (:

FS paper back

am feeling bored right now. currently having IMMF lesson and am doing practical now cos my group members, Marlon and Wei Ming arent here. if only they're here.. so we could discuss the proposal for the project and just end it there =\
dont understand the practical paper and am the only one doing it. no one to consult. *sad* well i got back my FS test paper. guess how much i got *screams* 82/100.

but i dont know what grade is that. many people scored high marks, like wenna, she scored 90/100. so happy for her. she conquered math already.

am gonna get back my PSP1 later, if limfanghow mark already. am so nervous about it..

ahh! limfanghow didn't give us back our test papers.. he said "not today" *so nervous*

Crappy day

in yellow,
Cheryl: "Fauzi, why are you so quiet?"
Fauzi: "What am I supposed to do? jump around?"

outside hallmark,
Fauzi: "where's Cheryl?"
(turns around, saw cheryl beside him and laughed)
Cheryl: "im married!"

had another crappy day. well, Cheryl came over to my house in the afternoon, took a nap and we headed to library and saw Patrick at the busstop and he joined us. met up with Joe, Kim Yeen and Lian Hong as well. Cheryl and I then left them and we saw Fauzi wandering in jurong entertainment.

decided to go to westmall as fauzi wanted to look for a bag. Joe joined us. prior to my 'jokes' above, the funniest was the one outside hallmark. Cheryl was supposed to say "im here" but she was too obsessed with the ring she bought. oh well =P

borrowed two books again. gee, am so in the reading mood. lol.

My laptop..

am very tired right now. i think there's some major problem with my lappy or is it Microsoft? cos i heard from Jun Yi that Microsoft is having problem, hence my internet explorer kinda sux now.

surf for like 10 pages and it'll just stuck down there. no (Not Responding) signs and i just have to ctrl+alt+del to stop the program. am hoping things will turn better but no =\\ it's like, when i shut down my lappy, the rundll32 system or somthing will be not responding and it'll try to end the program. and finally, the "program not responding" thingy come out and i just have to end task.

it's not all. it will not shut down but it will restart at the end. that's so.. -_-; i cant login if not the same thing repeats and it'll become an "infinite loop". tell me what's the problem? hence, for that, i'll just shut down without logging in. that's so troublesoom. am hoping some miracles will happen. please.. o.O

am so in love with Jay Chou. ain't he so cute? he's the only person who can make me go so 'high' as well as admire his talent in music.

he's just one of a kind! am loving him since.. er.. hmm.. august 2003 and am still loving him ={ if only he's a Singaporean. am hoping he'd come to Singapore end of this year for a concert. he came here only once.. =(( i just wanna see him in person!

Teachers' Day coming!

lalala. Come back from my primary school. Well, everything’s so fun cos everyone’s still the same. It’s been 4 years already. Am missing the old days; the nerdy me and the bookworm me. Lol. Finished reading a Chinese book which I borrowed yesterday. Well oh well, this book “Diary of a Mad Bride”, I must say, is seriously so boring! I thought it might be interesting. Well, this teaches me not to judge a book by its cover -_-; am looking forward to play The Sims once I get it from Maria and Jie Ying. They’re just so nice! I love them! *muacks* Jie Ying is also so sweet to lend me her library card. Well, my fines were like $6++ and I can’t borrow anymore. Love my friends (=

Grrr

did you guys catch singapore idol yesterday? Man oh man. Competition is so tough! Well, prior to my pic, Benjamin eio is so cute! He as got the charming smile, which has charmed me already. Man oh man, I’m getting crazy! Geee. What the fcuk -_-; thought I could have a peaceful 3 days break but who knows my lappy got virus early in the morning when I on it! =(( somebody help me.. am going back to primary school later =D

It's over!

hehehe. Am in the reading mood now. Lol, went to the library to borrow 2 chinese and 2 english books. Okay, so exams’ over and I oughta relax, but there’s just nothing much I can do at home other than surfing net and im kinda bored surfing too much. So my reading mode’s ON! IMMF was great. Know how to tackle all questions but of cos not perfect. Good luck to those who haven finish their common tests! =)

CSA paper sux!

well, my entry title showed it all. CSA paper really sux! parts in the CPU came out and i dont know what the hell it is! what the.. i guess nobody studied for that lor. last year paper was 9087463782432 times much much easier! i wonder who set the paper! i think he/she wants all of us to retake the module next year huh? it was so unpredictable and like hell lor.

whats worse. the secret agent ASCII code thingy came out. i was like.. oh gee. what the.. -.-;

AHHH! its no use crying over spilt milk. whats over is already over. i'll be more than happier if i can score at least a 60 out of it. *prays hard*

next is the last paper.. IMMF! its chicken feet to me.. but its like questions type.. it just seems hard to me at the moment i looked through my tutorial worksheets. somebody help me! now im beginning to love PSP1 more than anything.. =///

Jun Yi introduced this song 1st Ladi - Never Be Replaced. a short song but its nice. sang by a kid. think she's about ten years old bah..

1st Ladi
Never Be Replaced
[chorus]
baby i love you and i'll never let you go
but if i have to, boy, i think that you should know
all the love we make can never be erased
and i promise you that you will never be replaced
baby i love you and i'll never let you go
but if i have to, boy, i think that you should know
all the love we make can never be erased
and i promise you that you will never be replaced
i love you, yes i do
i'll be with you as long as you want me to
until the end of time
from the day i met you
i know we've been together
and now i know i wanna be with you forever
i wanna marry you and i wanna have your kids
thinking never compare to feel enough to kisses
i can say im truly happy to the same
you've made me think i'll die and live my life hesitate
there's never been no doubt in my mind
that i'll regret ever having you by my side
but if the day comes that i'll have to let you go
i think there's something i should prolly let you know
join everyday that i spent with you
and i will miss you cos im happy that i have you all

[repeat chorus]

i feel for you, yes i do
i'll be with you as long as you want me to
until the end of time

[edit] aint the lyrics sweet? [/edit]

Simple thoughts

sometimes i feel like asking you to just give up on me. i seriously dont know what to do. i just cant bring myself to face up to you. would you give up if i were to ask you to that? yes, ive been thinking.. alot. i cant make up a conclusion. do i love you? i dont know. all these misery are just happening like no one's business. i just feel this is not meant to be. give up, can you?

PSP1 over!

phew~ PSP1 is finally over. was glad while and for loops didnt came out for writing program kinda questions. almost hand in my paper full of careless mistakes. thank god i finished the paper in 30mins time and spent the rest of the time checking through and through.

last question was pretty tricky. well, rate=20 was declared at the beginning of the program. saw that and yet i didnt use the variable. luckily i checked through and found out my mistakes.. if not i'll lose plently of marks from there ^_^

hahaha. i have a few disciples now. lol. they all claimed im "clever" cos i know my FS and PSP1 well. what crap. o0px :pPpPp

CSA is waiting for me tomorrow.. common test is going to be over soon. first two tests went smoothly. will my boat continue to sail safely? -to be continued-

[edit] ive long forgotten the meaning of love; and how to love.. [/edit]

~.~

tried to add a chinese quote but to no avail =(

lets talk about my FS common test today. everything went fine. think im gonna lose 5 marks cos i didnt know how to do the last part of question 2. dont really have confidence in the last part of question 3 too. the rest are fine. i know how to do. kinda easy if my answers are correct.

my aunt and cousins from m'sia came today. they're gonna stay overnight. was expecting the worst yesterday when i gotta know they're coming. thought i might have some distractions but thank god didnt. well, of cos i had some distractions cos they kinda 'came' to use my lappy and house computer. wanted to join them for some game craze since they visit us occasionally but all thanks to the common test week =//

think im feeling stress cos i keep eating since lunch -.-; its gonna be PSP1 tomorrow. i know i can do it, but somehow there's this really dreadful feeling.. why?

dont wanna think too much and dont wanna ruin myself. hopefully everything turn out well tomorrow =S

It's haunting me..

hmmm, common tests are coming soon. yea, and i mean really really soon. its starting tomorrow! gee. gonna start with Fundamental Statistics.. MATH! -.-; havent really started yet but think i might be able to make it through la. well, did the revision exercises. got careless mistakes more than i-dont-even-know-howda-do questions. hopefully (:

watched tons of movie clips. got that website from Leslie of Saxophile cos ive been trying to look for the URL. thank god they played the song. must say they played really well :D

am watching the last one so i could just study hard for my common test. pleasee... let all these end asap.. o.O

haha. went out to study today and then showed my friends the Esplanade performances postcard. told them about the Ong Teng Cheong concert. and they told me he's already dead. and i was like O.O! huh?! just a concert in the name of Ong Teng Cheong. wahaha. blur me. ive lagged for years. oh man, what have i been thinking all these while? (*.*)

[edit] shant update for a time being till my common test are all over. aight peeps, take care and good luck to NP peeps! *toodles* [/edit]

Make a difference

a man was walking along the beach one day when he saw a boy who was picking up starfishes and flinging them into the sea. curious, he asked the boy why he did that. the boy said: "if these starfishes are left here till the morning sun, they would die." the man then replied: "hey kid, the beach goes on for miles and miles and there would be other starfishes which might die the next day, what difference would it make?" the boy looked at the starfish on his hand, threw it into the sea and said: "it would make a difference to this one.."

many times all of us wouldnt do something when we felt its of no use.. but little did we know it would make a difference! haha. well, got this story from the NUS diary which i browse through today. really meaningful so thought i might as well post it here.

had alumni practice today. it was short but enjoyable (: gotta rush to study for common tests! -poof-

Saxophile Part 2

its pretty obvious what im gonna write in my blog. oh well, went to Saxophile concert today and i must say i really enjoyed myself. its been very long since i last had such outings. though its with a few people whom i dont really know, but we really havoc around like a big group of monkeys.

"malu-ed" ourselves during the concert. shouted stuff like "go, Nizam!" and scream lots like hell. thats the way it should be ;p and then had this part when Julie clapped when they havent finish playing the song, us screaming when Nizam said we're his bunch of loyal juniors, Adam coming out to get the Saxophile polo tee (again) etc.

saw Edmund too. well, he made me went mad when i first saw him at the Saxophile part 1. took sneaky shots of him ;p heard the song "Zhai Xin", a song with a sad story behind it, which Leslie wanna record it down and send it to someone in Thailand. thats very touching.. was wondering whether Leslie had such a sad story too.. hope not. =//

Adam and Maisarah went berserk at the MRT station. took my bag and played some "games" as if they are the "suspicious articles" in which the lady over the PA system keep repeating. thats pretty lame and i can only say "poor bag.." Adam and Julie played the "hei bai pei! nan sheng nu sheng pei!" game and we made fun of the way Adam tried to pronounce those words. he went like "hei bai CHEY! ()*&@^#%*&@# PEI!" totally cant get what he was trying to say.

had a whole lot of fun in the MRT as well. Adam, again, did the "pole swing" and everybody practically went mad just like him. sat down and played the "hei bai pei" game again. this time its more challenging and me, Adam and Carmen tried to play a 3-man game. pretty hard. had to coordinate.

played Concentration games as well. had nicks to make things harder. nicks like "roxy", "spike", "corny aka horny", "emo", "meow meow(me)", "claw", "CL", "ahh ahh", "think first" and "johnny". everyone in the train were looking at us; some giving the -.- face while other just laughed at us.

tiring day of cos. poor Adam, Carmen and Julie as they have Physics common test tomorrow.

last words: Saxophile rox! well, think they gotta change to Yuhua Saxophile instead cos majority of their players are from Yuhua (: Nizam and Sally rox but Nizam rox more ;p its just so nice hearing them play. oh yar, Edmund was cute too :D

Study

studied PSP1 last night and did the 2oo3 common test paper. had very good news today! *screams and jumps around the room* limfanghow said we're not gonna have the "error detection" section for the exams and that the last section will be more of fill in the blanks! cant help but feel really happy =D

well, taught Jie Ying PSP1 and Li Ting IMMF and PSP1. hope it's of much help to them. cos i feel i cant really teach. -.-; Jie Ying keeps saying i should be a teacher O.O! spent the night watching Singapore Idol and doing the layout of my blog, how is it? muahaha. well, doubt any comments cos not much people visit my blog. =//

watched Mean Girls twice. its really a nice show and Lindsay Lohan is just so pretty! love her acting in The Parent Trap though that movie seemed ages ago. Mean Girls is a sad story about Lindsay losing herself. sad to say, such things happen in real life. and i happen to know someone who's like this.

haha. i guess my phrase "have you ever seen "flying objects'?" and "i think he/she have never seen 'flying objects' before" is getting popular. it started when i say 'flying chairs/shoes/slippers' when i found out i cant really say all those if the things i mentioned dont exist anywhere near me when i say that. so i invented 'flying objects' instead. okay, its pretty lame but it gets people laughing. that's the main motive. all i have to say is that it dont originate from me, but 'flying objects' originates from me.

still wondering whether i should go for the "class study" tomorrow cos im gonna go for the Sax Quartet at night..

A fresh start

went to Clementi to help my mum bring back some stuff for the Hungry Ghost Festival. oh wow, its seriously so heavy. havent been helping out since ive offically stepped out of band. well, last time we had to carry those really heavy instruments to and fro. thank god i helped my mum. if not i wouldnt know how she would be able to manage all those.

had a haircut as well. my mum had asked me to trim it abit cos my hair looks "thick". im not paying for it, so why not? ;p not much of a difference i guess. but when my younger sister came back, she went like "you cut your hair?". haha. if she were to be the one who cut her hair, it would take me at least a few months before i realise it. well, i see her everyday, ya know. this also shows how observant she is.

the hairdresser also helped me to straighten my hair abit cos she said my natural curls are coming back. expected her to collect about 20 bucks or so but she merely accepted 9 bucks. great! (:

studied PSP1 and did the common test 2003 paper as well, and then had some doubts. of cos i approached my shifu ;p

Hmm..

had revision classes for IMMF and PSP1 today. well, kinda fun lar. cos i was crapping around with the senior buddies (more like suan-ing them ba.. ;p). and then played the "spot-the-mistakes" game, blah, i mean there were a few mistakes in the worksheet.

hmm, im glad to say that ive finally sorted out my doubts with tables and frames! *rejoices* there were practices for tables and frames. got the table one correct and the frames one midway wrong. well, its a good try la.

im also happy to announce that i kinda got through the barrier of PSP1 already. not really got through the barrier.. cos i got treeman to mark my PSP1 2oo1 paper and CSA 2oo2 (which i did for my friend cos i forgot to bring the anwers as ive promised to) and found out that i got my PSP1 common test paper almost all correct! well, except for grammatical mistakes and variables declared mistakes la. and for the CSA, ive roughly got a bit of the memorising important parts in my head already. am so happy today (:

whats more, Jie Ying has decided to lend me her The Sims! woah! i cant help but feel any happier! what can i say? she's been friends with me since primary one till primary six! and she still keep a photo of us when we were primary twos. i look so toot in it, oh well, i was still young, oh yea? ;p

what am i supposed to do? i really dont know.. can someone guide me? ive been trying my best but i still i feel i dont belong. whats wrong with me? many times i wanna be able to mix around with them.. i can.. but i feel i dont belong.. or maybe i should let things remain this way? i dont want! grrr..

mixed up thoughts once again. wished i never can experience this feeling, but it seemed its haunting me everytime. perhaps this feeling is supposed to haunt me for life? i dont know.. still, i wanna say.. wadevas.

Revision class

had revision class today. beneficial cos im lazy to pick up my books, sit down and study. well, practised abit of FS and found out alot of careless mistakes and wrong answers as well. still sux at permutation, combination and probability. cant seemed to get them right since secondary 4.. oh well. -.-; got panicked when it came to CSA. just happened to get all my 1st and 2nd's complement mixed up. became so panicked till i wanted to cry. -.-;

common test is next week and i still seem kinda unstable in my work. dont really know what to do now except to try my best to absorb as much as i can.

haha. his eyes are just so nice, so charming. seeing it during the lectures is simply.. shiok! muahahaha ;p

tomorrow shall be IMMF aka aye yam yam aref (lol) and PSP1. just have to clear my doubts about loops for PSP1 and of cos get my "whys" answered. hehe.

oh yar. to update about The Sims, i got married yesterday! haha. from Huei Shan Sunshine to Huei Shan Johann. okay, strange cos i dont have a christian name. well, the marriage bells are ringing soon for Wendy *weeuweet*. still trying hard for Carmen though. haha (:

Havocation

had lotsa fun today. well, met up with wendy and carmen at JE mac. was supposed to study. ended up wendy used my lappy to play The Sims, carmen studyin math, and i did abit of psp1. crapped around. cant stand them. wahha.

well, there was this time when i dropped my books and i said "o0px, i dropped my books" and they went practically "o0px, i dropped my boobs" okay. so its really funny. but to me, it isnt. cos its entirely about me. oh man. -.-;

and then we went on talking about The Sims cheat code. to use the cheat code, we had to press ctrl+shift+c. and when carmen asked wendy what should we press, she replied "control, shift, shee". tried to correct her. but didnt do well either. "control, shhive, c" was what i said instead. k fine. seriously so funny.

when we were eating, i merely said "i still love my mother's egg" meaning the egg she cooks lar. but they thought otherwise instead. oh wadevas.

went back home after that cos something happened at home. didnt attend alumni.

also, i gotta find out why wendy dislikes cheryl so much.. its just the way she treat her friends. well, i must say she kinda have a problem in the way she treats her friends. i dont say it out. but, isnt friendship kinda about give or take? i mean, we shouldnt mind that much what. and i kinda got used to it anyway. its not we dont wanna say. just that dont wanna ruin things. but still, wadevas..

A month has passed

its been a month already. things happened so fast. and my heart screwed it all. "wadevas", i tell myself. "studies is much more important right now. common test week is coming.."

grr! talking about common test! i'm not ready yet! *screams* someone please help me. well, found out PSP1 is all about knowing the concepts, CSA is kinda more of memorising, FS, of cos, is still maths and IMMF is also much about memorising too. i know i'll have no problem in IMMF.. but the rest? ~.~

cant help but think when will all these end. gee. it's almost just like O levels lor. having seat numbers, the need of presenting out student cards etc. guess this is the life for poly students! year 1 is already kinda tough for me.. what about year 2 and 3?

luckily i still have my "shi fus" but i cant depend on them too much either.. the most when i have doubts. limfanghow! i need the PSP1 2oo1 common test answers!

i'm still online frequently nowadays.. or should i say i'm spending more time facing the computer rather than anything else, ever since the wired/wireless modemn arrived last wednesday. well, i must make full use of it but i'm kinda "abusing" it. now i just wish it didnt come. i'd rather quarrel to use teh internet connection, that when my sisters are using, i might as well study. gee. guess this is life; humans will never be contented. we always crave for more and when we have it, we yearn for the past.. -.-;;

What a life

am revising real hard for my modules nowadays. and have been using the computer too frequently. well, for both leisure and homework lah. need help, oh yea? i'm not a genius. i'm feeling so scared for the upcoming common tests.. how? through the revisions i had, i kinda understand the concepts but im afraid i'll be too nervous and forget everything. man, common test week gonna be packed for us. its 4 days in a row we're having those scary papers. somehow like taking Os. wahaha.

oh yar, Singapore Idol rocks my world. haha. just being able to watch people's stupid acts and stuff. o0px. well, like what the judges are doing, in search of someone who can really sing mah! haha. yesterday they had the banana man. woohoo. whats next? grr. gonna wait till next thursday for Singapore Idol. its like a week to that! cant wait.. !!

well, behind the nasty comments by the judges, there's still the sentimental side of them yea? those two people, one with hearing impaired, the other speech defect, really made my day. seeing them having the courage to join the contest despite thinking that they might get mocked at. their spirits is what made me admire them. just so cool. really.

lalala. dont really wanna talk about anything else. perhaps things should remain this way.. too busy to find time.. this, i think, should be the best way (:

In the confused state of mine

"everytime i fly, i'll fall without my wings"

the song "everytime" by Britney Spears is nice, really really nice. (:

currently doing my PSP1 2oo1 common test paper. limfanghow is gonna go through it tomorrow. have been slacking since school starts, now its the time to really concentrate and "pay back". dont wanna suffer in the future. wanna get the scholarship. wahhaa. if i can. o.O

i have been thinking alot these few days, and it seemed im kinda outta my mind. what am i thinking about? things have been going smoothly, almost like what ive been expecting, but i just dont feel it that way now. why is this so?

[edit] gee. dont wanna talk about that now. just wanna concentrate in my studies and thats it. perhaps this is the best way to remain things as it is. [/edit]

National day

just like another day to me. just that the only difference is no monday blues! hahaa. no school today! (:

well, watched Singapore Idol. real nice. haha. well, didnt really enjoyed American Idol but Singapore Idol is another thing. has been looking out for my friends. ahha.

yes, joined blogdrive cos i find it cool. this default layout is also as cool as it is. most importantly, blogdrive have its own tagboard and comments! this means i dont have to sign up for any tagboards or comment thingy! horray!

guess we had some misconceptions. sighs. it wasnt what i mean by telling him all those things yesterday. what i meant was i need time to forget my ex. i dont mean i wanna go back to him. hey hey, you have some misunderstanding in me.. oh please dont be so negative?

i just dont wanna be unfair to you.. i dont wanna think about my ex when im with you.. can you please understand this and dont be so paranoid? im thankful for all those things you did for me. thats why ive thought through and didnt want to be unfair to you.. please dont think otherwise.

i wish you dont have confidence in yourself. if you dont have that, i guess its best for things to remain this way. yes, i must do something to regain your confidence.. but the only person who can really do that is yourself. if you continue to think im going back to my ex, i think we're not meant to be. please stop having those thoughts. im begging you.

or unless you wanna regain your confidence then we shall talk about getting into a relationship. perhaps that is the best way. come back when your confident enough.