I never wanted to go home so badly

woke up with reluctance to get out from my bed in the morning. was very tired but had to get up to finish up the mma assignment.

am really glad that Wenna finished making all the scenes cos we had alot of miscommunication the night before i thought everything was gonna fall apart. but thanks Wenna. and sorry cos initially i didnt understand what you were trying to do prolly cos i dont understand you through msn. face-to-face is better.

so a quite relieved when i saw what she had done. she did so much. i was like so happy.

but then unluckiness (haha, got such word mah?) fell on me when i felt unwell. had my rants cos i felt so terrible. kept saying i wanna go home.. felt so much better when i reached home. and then continue with mma.

yeap. and thanks Yong Xiang for helping us so much. the first thing i had in mind when i got home was i wanna finish up the project to let Wenna have a peace of mind. cos she worked so hard for it and i gotta work hard too (i dont mean i didnt do anything right from the start)

haha. enough of it. we're done already! just waiting to submit it. wheeee!!

Happy baby

was on my way to school today and then was waiting for bus at the busstop. then i saw the reflection of a grandpa carrying a granddaughter walking towards my area. the baby was so cute. the hair curly curly de. then i keep staring loh.

the grandpa noticed and then was like talking to me, telling me he's taking care of his grandchildren, the baby in his hands is 1 yr and 2 months old and tried to make the baby play with me. damn cute de.

she was so shy and then she didnt dare to do anything. no smiles no nothing. but then she got so high when i high five-ed with her. so cute. showed her two dimples.. kawaii..

board the same bus with them too. then when they were to alight, the grandpa asked the baby to wave goodbye to me. the auntie beside me, who was also staring at the baby, thought the grandpa was trying to make his granddaughter wave goodbye to her, then she waved back. lol -.-;

but so cute lah...

people i met recently: Sec school peeps: Mr Noh, Kai Lyn, Hui Hui, Shu Mei, Pei Jun, Joe. Others: Ain, Mandy.

Results

here are my results for my module. be it common test or what. here it goes:

Common Tests:
Programming and Problem Solving 2: A
Event Driven Programming: A+
Operating Systems: C
Business Information System: D
Business Information System Project: B

haha. abit decelerating huh =xxxx

will work harder! common tests in like 4 weeks' time!

Reminders:
MMA assignment by this Sunday
PSP2 assignment by 4/o3/o5
Self Reflection paper by next Tuesday

I yearn for your understanding

was just wondering that why do people get influenced easily?

i believe people do get easily influenced when their good friend tell them that this person has a bad personality. what i mean is, if your good friend tells you that John is a bad guy, would you think of him that way too?

im sure many would say yes. i admit im also one of these people. but i must say i will change my opinion if i really interact with that someone and find his/her nice personality.

but did anyone really spare a thought for that he/she? how would he/she feel? people "discriminating" them. so am i right to say if i dislike this particular someone, i will go and tell the hundreds of friends i know and let that particular someone hated by my hundreds of friends?

NO.

if anyone love to do such things, i hope you understand the plight of these people.

understand my plight.

im a human too. im born not to let others hate or discriminate. at least i believe im born for a reason. at least im sure im born to make a great impact on some people's life. at least i believe im important to at least one person on this earth. at least i believe everyone doesnt like a life like that.

raise your hands if you love a life like that.

back to today. had OP today. yupx. at least its over and done with. whee! Vanitha got jealous cos im done with it. hurhur xP

everyone did well. but i stumbled over my words =//

had good comments from my lecturer. well, she's always so nice =D

then had S&W. played a match with the girls. well, it was definitely so much fun and not so stressful. at least i like it better than playing with the guys. the guys take the game too seriously and made me dont wanna even touch the ball =//

so happy! OP is done. next up is EVP demo. and then have to do the self reflection paper. hope i rememberR!

Yesterday

was so frustrated in the morning i forgot to update about yesterday. oh ya, met Pei Jun through Maple yesterday. haha, through Silvirin. its been a million years i last talk to her. and then sorta dying to meet her cos its been so long i can almost forget how she look like.

Silvirin joke by saying we'll meet on sunday haha but who knows, we met up at Jurong Point and then head to Silvirin's crib to Maple. LOL.

she changed alot larh. but the initial feeling was awkward. cos i haven interact much with her since we got not so close when we were sec 3. she became more girlish but im not used to it. its good anyway, she's a girl mah :)

crapped abit. but the feeling talking to her was also awkward at first. but then it became okay after that x)

Fucked up

i feel so fucking down now. what the fuck have i done?! tell me!

why the fuck are you pissed with me? or are you fucking jealous of me?

i just cant stand it when you fucking try to make my life miserable.

if you fucking dont wanna talk to me, then i'll fucking shut my mouth, you bloody fucker.

so suck some ass..

if you love the fucking threesome, then i'll let you have your threesome, you fucking asshole who loves to outcast me.

sorry for this fucked up entry cos im feeling so fucked up now.

Busy, busy, busy

had S&W yesterday. heard that its coming to an end next week. that's like whee! haha. ran like 7 rounds but then i cheated cos i really cannot run larh. i dont have the stamina..

and then continued with EVP. omg, im really thankful that Zaki send me his EVP. not that i copied his, but i take it as a guide and it really helped! hahahas. will clear my doubts with William tommorrow. hopefully i wont be late! cos only 1 hour lesson!

then did MMA assignment with Wenna. couldnt get the background right, so i did the codes and she did the flowers instead. i just hope it's as simple as i thought it is =//

ohh i almost forgot to add what happened yesterday. well, it all started when i was walking behind Wenna and i realised she was walking into the gents (that was when we wanted to go to the ladies to change into S&W attire. my immediate and sorta foolish reaction was "Wenna! NAN DE!" nan de as in its gents! haha. then people from softball looked over.

and then when the loser and the loser had to compete with each other (i mean 4 teams had compete with each other and then loser and loser battle and winner and winner battle) Wenna and my team were the loser teams and then we were walking towards the other basketball court. i saw a piece of sole from a shoe and jokingly told Wenna that her soles has dropped off. her immediate reaction was "HUH?!" and then checked her soles -.-;

hmmm. today's Wendy and Wenna's birthday. wish them happy birthday :)

Enjoyable CNY

Shu Mei joined us for the visiting today. but we didnt go to muh house cos muh ma went out.

Zi Qian's house was da first stop and we gambled. oh man, borrowed like 500c from Shu Mei and am left with 200c now. sobx.

haha. the last gambling was "In Between". that's real fun. its like everyone else didnt want to play anymore except for me and Shu Mei and then i just keep giving small bets on those possible winnings. bet on like 30c each and keep getting 30c back until there was this once i just didnt want to make a bet. oh muh god, luck was with me that time budden Peng kept thinking i cheated -.-;

ive got no luck for this cny.

then headed to Peng's house. oh muh god. i must really admit that her house was darn nice. so antique like so special; simply so nice. oh muh god. i just wondered why she never liked us to go visit her house. it was like.. erm.. sooooo nice.

gambled at her crib again. this time the wins and losses are half half larh.

walked all the way to Silvirin's house next. played monopoly from 7 till 9 plus. that game can really keep us entertained for hours. took photos and had some cat fight with Shu Mei. hur hur. budden its so paiseh. Silvirin's brothers were like witnessing it and even video cam-ed it down -.-;

time to go home already! left the house at 10+ and reached home at 11. ate my dinner at 1130 (or should i call it supper) and am online now. i just didnt want to sleep early. i'd rather sleep at 2 than to wake up with bloated stomach and have all the food i consumed turning into fats =//

Continued

forgot to mentioned that everyone over at ah ma (mum's godma) has changed alot. the two guys have been more beng, which is not a good thing. one thing is, ah bee, a 12 year old boy, is so darn cute. he's like primary 6 already but standing tall at 130cm and crushing the earth at 20+kg. that's so cute right?

also, his voice is so very much like a kid. so ke ai. i remembered few years back when i saw him, i thought he was only 5 years old. to my atonishment, he was aactually 9 years old already. omg.

haha. but he's so ke ai :)

Gastric

woke up with a terrible gastric pain. it was so unbearable that i almost couldnt sit up. but i had to.

relatives from Malaysia came over. yeah! Zi Ling was so darn cute. her hair was tied up in two pony tails and she looked like the little girl in Monster Inc. whats even cuter is that she was wearing a pair of angel wings at the back cos i put it on her. so sweet and cute.

then my uncle sent me to Kai Ling's house.

played mahjong and borrowed 100c from Wenna and Xeno each. ended up losing about 130c in the end. poor me.

luck wasnt in me until i got so stressed up cos im bankrupted. was like ready for "pong pong hu" and were waiting for 3 tiles to complete. then one by one it came. then TADA! Kenneth discarded the tile i wanted to win!! whee!! then i got like 150c liao. hehes.

here and there win and lose abit but then had fun.

then left them early cos i have to go to my mum's godma's house.

ah ma (mum's godma) said she dont have much 'time' left. *sobs* i can actually see that. she was so healthy a few years back. walking around the house and stuff, then she needs a walking stick like last year or something and now she looks so weak =//

tomorrow going out with Silvirin, Zi Qian, Peng and Shu Mei. going to each others' house to 'bai nian'. whee! then going out with Wendy at the evening (maybe).

i just realised this cny has been packed for me. it has never been so happenin' before. but im glad :)

Third day of CNY

its the third day of CNY liao. haha.

Wenna, Kai Ling, Theresa and Jian Qi came to my house today. so paiseh. my room is in a mess. so teenagerieee. lol.

then headed to Sam's house. OMG. at Hougang. so very the far.. played blackjack with the borrowed 50c from Sam. then from 50c to 20c to 130c. wheee~~ well, i wont forget i left my 80c at Sam's piggy! i will want it back next year! haha. but prolly i'll forget about it. haha.

am going to Kai Ling's crib tomorrow. prolly gamble again. whee! lol.

The relatives from Malaysia

haven been updating cos ive been lazy as i dont see frequent readers.

will start with Monday

Monday, o7o2o5

schools as usual then went to IMM to get my book changed. whee! i got through! yeah! im glad that trip wasnt wasted. went to Teban after that to visit Yen Loo and chatted with her till its like 645 and took bus home. bought Inuyasha box 5 too! yeah!

Tuesday, o8o2o5

no school! whee! mapled the whole day till its 6 plus and went to grandma's house for reunion dinner. hahas. am not afraid of the dog anymore! it's name is Bonnie! will post up the pictures later. yes, that killer dog chased me around the whole house a few years back and scratched me. will never forgot. but im no longer afraid ot it le. hehes.

Wednesday, o9o2o5

went grandma house again. this time collecting angbaos. hahas! money keep flowing in!

saw my cute little cousing Li Xin and i feel so bad. the dog went up to her and scratched her. what happened was, she wanted to pat the dog on the butt. but i want her to pat it on the head instead. when i let her down, she panicked as the dog stood up (it was sitting down previously) and then she screamed and jump. the dog charged at her and scratched her. she then blamed me for all that has happened. im innocent!

then came the VIP or should i say VIB (Very Important Baby) yes! thats my little nephew! (im not boosting im finally an AUNT now) he's so darn cute. his name is Zhe Kai. only about 2 months old but soooo big in size already! pictures later!

head to Malaysia after that. saw the many cute little cousins. OMG. once again im mad. hahas.

i simply love Wu Jun and Wen Kai! they're so cuteee! but they're soo badd! they ignore me! especially Wen Kai! T.T

Thursday, 1oo2o5

last day of interaction with the kids but i surely took tons of pictures of them, including a cute so-called stray dog.

am back home now cos there arent really anymore interesting things to post liao.

pictures now!

yes yes! the kids!

Bonnie! killer dog!

the so-called stray doggie. but its cute and small and tamed :)

Shi Tong! the unbelivably cute and pinchable cheeks girl. who is just soo cute.

my favorite! Wen Kai! i finally made them come to me and show me what he's holding :D

the brother of Wen Kai. he's name is Wu Jun. he just loves to hide behind the door and then let me take snapshots of him. hmm :// but i love him too!

so much for my adventures with kids. ooooo. i just love kids =D

Jay, Jay, JAY!

hur hur. dont know what title to put so i put Jay in my title just to say I Love Jay!

haha. realised ive been going out with my mum alot nowadays. yesterday went to Giant with her to buy some new year goods and man, got so tired when i reached home. today, i went to look for her at her workplace to buy an S&K skirt. whee~~ i love her man. though she is just gonna buy that skirt for me for new year.

Jun Rong work at S&K Clementi but somehow he seemed so restless and tired when i so-called 'visited' him just now. haha. my mum and aunt has been really hard to serve ya. LOL.

my aunt and cousin came to visit us from Malaysia. and then is back to Woodlands to stay at my uncle's house liao.

then surprisingly, my uncle(another uncle) and my little cousins came to visit. man, the youngest one was so darn cute and i missed her. its so hard to interact with her cos she'll forgot me so fast. so what i did was when they were at the door, i said "i wont let you in unless you greet me but i let your korkor and jiejie in." haha. it worked. she greeted me.

my cousin got so excited about MapleStory and was like snatching the laptop from me. oh man, and then i decided to quit and let him watch animations. couldnt think of any site except HappyTreeFriends. i hope that did not pollute their young minds =//

i asked the little cousin to sit on my lappy. whee~ she's so obedient. then she somewhat stick so me. sooo sweet. hurhur.

follow up is a picture of me and her and a solo picture of herself:

the picture size is so small cos i didnt know i set that as the default =// but she's cute eh? ^^



the picture her 10 year old brother took. nice one. so natural. so kawaii. and yes, her name's Zi Ling :)

when all of them left the place, mum and i head to Jurong East to have our dinner and she wanted to shop for some new year goodies.

my mum is so absentminded. initially i chose a two-seat table for us to sit, then i went to buy food. when i was back, she changed places so we ate there. when we finished our dinner and about to leave, i realised my bag was missing. and then i found it on the initial place we sat!! OMG. if it was missing, i would have gone mad cos i had like 60 bucks in there!!

went to NTUC to choose chocos cos im afraid she would choose then not-so-nice ones. hurhur. done with that and head to Popular alone cos she said she could manage. saw Angela(Bryan's darling) and bought the Incomparable to Jay VCD liao. whee!! thanks for the discount man.

next up was IMM. i want to buy the storybook about Jay i saw yesterday. went there and looked for Bryan and then went up with him. yes, the book's in my hands now. BUT there's a flaw with the BOOK!! one of the ends of the pages got folded! WHY? cos it was printed too big. you know, those kinda when you see folded pages of new book and when you open out, its a large unfit piece of corner. OMG. i just hope i can change it!!

i will head there tomorrow.

BAD NEWS: on the receipt, i saw the words "goods sold are not refundable or exchangable"!! i hope they just let me change! T.T

OS & BIS

last two papers already yet im still slacking around. it's now 230 pm and everyone's at home except for my dad.

heard some amazing things from my mother about my past grandfather. cos there's a white butterfly which is stuck at the (erm i dont know what that's called. in chinese it's shen tai). mom immediately used two red things (dont know what's that again =//) to asked if 'it's my grandpa'. it showed a yes.

and then my mom told us that once prayed to my grandpa saying she dont want anything but to strike 4D with my house's door unit number. yes. she did won the first prize and got a 2k. that was for the house rent bill which increased up to 2k++.

i just love my grandpa.

my younger sister's school is really strange. on the days she was present in school, they called to ask why is she not in school. and today, she did not go to school cos her alarm didnt wake her up. yet when she called to say she's not in school, they claimed she's in school. now, who's the one they saw? ~.~

PSP2

now that PSP2 paper has past, im much more relieved.

talking about the paper.. my first reaction when i read the questions was "OH SHIT. WHAT ARE ALL THESE". tried to calm down and concentrate on it. okay, i got the hang of it. but the thing is, i forget all my old PSP1 concepts already. things like: how to get source from a textfield (i mean strings), how to use the If...Else statements. tried to remember it all. i did. but just wasnt sure if its 100% right.

EVP's tomorrow. and im so darn worried about it. not that im not prepared. just that im so scared.

William finally replied my email. i was so darn scared i forgot to click send. he modified my answers already. just have to learn it later. i do hope to get the hang of EVP but im just so used to PSP now that the different terms used in EVP is so unfamiliar to me.

omg. am gonna work in it later.

[edit] a face keep appearing in my mind. yes, that's you. everytime i see you, i dont know what im feeling. happy? sad? or whatsoever i dont know. i just have mixed feelings. whether to like or not to like is still a mystery to me. should i count the petals of a roses or should i just sit around and do nothing? all these coldness are making me numb.. [/edit]

Emogirl*

i just wanna say: i cant ignore this feeling im getting. its just like asking me to ignore the cars when im crossing the road. this saying is so right "only love can drive away hatred" but then will a leopard change its spot?

whats wrong with me?

yes i know there bound to be somehing wrong with me but no one's perfect. and the more we try to be perfect, the worst we get. what am i supposed to do?

i just felt that no one can understand how i feel cos if i put it simply, they all have their own clinque(is it the correct word?). i dont. i feel so awful everytime i see it going this way. i just dont understand why. ive had this feeling since i step into secondary school. and this feeling is haunting me.

why me?

grrr. ahs wadeva. there's just not much time for me to talk about it.

its just all in you.

_____alone______

Wan Yu

AHHHH! my dad off the wireless!! and then i have to write what happened again!! grrr.

well, i mentioned that Bryan's girlfriend, Angela, reminds me of the past. a girl who looks like her too.

if im not wrong, her name was Wan Yu. but i seriously disappoint her.. and hurt her.

this was what happened:

at the tender age of 8, me and Wan Yu were like the best of friends. she was a very pitiful girl. she had very little money for food in school and everyday when she goes home and get to school the next day, her arms would be filled with blue-black bruises. why? due to her bad results.

her mum keeps wanting her to do the very best, stressing her. i forgot how, but we became the best of friends.

i forgot what happened but i only remember that one day i quarrelled with her in the canteen. the last sentence i said to her was "okay, fine. if you can, return me ALL the money ive been giving you to buy food!!" she cried.. and then we were strangers after that.

i was just 8 years old, hence my childish actions.

after we graduated from pri school, i saw her on the street in commonwealth sec uniform one day. we just smiled at each other like two complete strangers..

what has past, has already past. but i regretted my actions =(

now i dont know how's she doing and stuff. i hope she's doing well.

back to now. had been studying with Lu long, Wen Feng and Zhen Hwang(pardon me if i spell wrongly) nowadays. luckily Lu Long asked me to go to school and teach him today, if not i wouldnt know that im actually still half-bucket (in chinese, ban tong shui) in PSP2.

saw real side of Wen Feng and Zhen Hwang. seriously so damn shocked. haha.

Inuyasha

as promised, this is the picture me and Wenna took yesterday. ahha. caught me updating alot nowadays harh? i dont know why i have so much to blog. LOL.

anyways. i watched Inuyasha second movie just now. it's titled Castle Beyond The Looking Glass. and it has a nice song which goes like..

will there be strength in this land
flowers in this field
and love in this heart..
listen,
the murmuring of life i heard when i pressed my ear against it..
yes. i remember..
i was enveloped with warm heartbeats.
people pretend to be oblivious to the voices and pain of others.
but please do not be fooled by these ugly faces.
please live in love, right now.
born in this world,
what is reflected
in your eyes?

Blessed

Wenna wanted to borrow PSP2 to copy the answers. but i had to study, so i photocopy for her instead. then met her at Jurong Entertainment. i was outside Long John Silvers cos i was looking whether Yen Loo is working today. when she told me she is walking out of Macdonalds, i turned back. i was shocked. why? i saw SYLVESTER SIM. oh gosh. i must say he looked cool. oh well, im not in lurve with him like im in lurve with JAY. so i felt nothing special.

Wenna claimed that my shocked face looked stupid. but i assume she's jealous that i looked cute. HAHAs.

we went around hunting for Sylvester cos i was thinking it'd be nice to tell others i met him. it wasnt something glorious anyway. he's a Singaporean after all. not some Taiwanese singer or whatsoevers.

kept discussing how we could have get close contact with him. Wenna ended with the "might as well go over and hug him saying 'hi darling!' and then go 'oops sorry. wrong person'" but i personally think she might get mistaken for sexual harrassment. evil thinking she have. to think of it, when has she ever been nice? okay lah.. just this once.

went to look for Bryan in Popular. Wenna keep telling me its impossible for me to buy Ban Dao Tie He cos who would want to transfer just a book from Taiwan? but i must say she got me fooled all along. she was so dumb that she placed the book at the "Today's Literature" corner. got scolded by me in the end for being so dumb.

Wenna, are you dumB? are you duMb? are you dUmb?

i feel so blesssssssssssssssssssed cos i know Bryan. i just cant put my gratitude into words. he has helped me so much, treated me so well that i cant believe this is happening. like he helped me with the new Jay Concert CD and then helped me got the Ban Dao Tie He, together with discounts and stuff. most importantly, he got me something i wanted so much, the metal box which came with Jay's Qi Li Xiang album. initially i thought im gonna have one only. but who knows he gave me two along with his little little Xie Zhen Ji book. so sweet of him.. im so blessed.

well, if you're reading this.. i wanna take this opportunity to thank you again.

*Thanks Bryan*

What a day

went out to discuss about our MMA project with Wenna. finished discussing and then met up with Kai Ling cos Wenna wanna pass her the Hello Kitty prize she won. found out that our projects are actually similiar. that sent me and Wenna in despair cos we have to think of another idea again =//

as me and Kai Ling desperately wanted to find a pair of beach shoes, we went to Bugis. erm.. in CASUAL clothings. later i will post up what we wore.

was very tired in the MRT cos there werent any seats for us so we sat on the floor. when we reached, we went around loh. went to FreshBox, Poh Kim, some sports shops but to no avail. i suddenly remembered that there's one slippers shop in Heeren but then we dont know the price. didnt want to end up sad cos of the price, ya know.

since it was kinda early, we went to Heeren. found the shop. man, the price is reasonable for the material used. but its ex for us. the range is like 22 to 50 plus bah. im not sure. its expensive cos it made use of rubber to make the hard base.

walked to Flash N Splash and found really nice slippers - but they were for guys. there werent the smallest size at all. *sad* when we were outta that shop, i heard my darling singing. so i suggested going to HMV loh. man, they were playing my darling's CD. so happy**

headed to Taka (that's even worst cos that place is so high-class) and to Cineleisure. then went back home cos we were all so tired. outside Cineleisure, we were like a bunch of stupis girls as i wanted to prove Wenna that its due to the city lights that there's very few stars in Singapore. but she insisted in saying its due to the clouds. alright alright. you're partly right too. but then you did saw the contrast between the clouds and the sky rite. the sky was dark blue. the cloud white. and you dun see white clouds spreading the night sky. im still right!!

yes yes. forgot to mention i saw a huge magazine with my darling on the cover. he's so shuai!! my god my god. the price is reasonable. 10 bucks. but then im broke. i still owe Kai Ling and Wenna money. haha. ~.~ if only someone would buy it for me o.O

this guy over at Bugis Village is so crappy. he went like "you all sec wad ah" then i was like "HUH! we look like secondary sch girls oh". he's so crappy he say "then you all what pri sch one?............................. what kindergarden?" getting more and more crappy. but cute lah. hahahaha.

okay okay. last but not least, now for the picturesssssss~~~

this was what we wore. so paiseh. all shorts. hahahah. i was sooooo clever. i suggested taking pic of the mirror reflection. was in the train.

this is our foot wear. okay. this is taken to insult me. as i wore slippers. )(^%$^&()

and then my darling!! so handsome rite!! cost only ten bucks!! anyone willing to buy for me!! its available in KinoKuniya of Bugis!!!!

i almost forget to mention that we actually saw a pair of COMMON-LOOKING slippers with a POOR FRICTION BASE. guess how much it cost. it cost $157.50!!!!!!!! its actually $150 but that's the price after GST. man oh man. cos we were walking around Taka and then saw this shoes. it looks nice alright but the common looking type that kinda nice.

when they walked away, i squat down to look at the price. "$157.50", it says. i even opened my eyes as wide as possible and indeed, it is $157.50. still dont believe it and i went to check the other pair, thinking they might have place the decimal place wrongly. NO. it is $157.50. who would buy such slippers?!!

haha. as we think that usually rich people dont dress properly, almost like what we wore yesterday. i went like "hey Kai Ling, you want to buy this not?", talking about the $16.80 slippers. then she said she dont know. "i think i should buy the $157.50 slippers instead" was wad i said. muahahahhaa.

so lame. but when i asked them how much they think the slippers would be, they guessed its $19 plus to $50 plus. and when they heard the price, the immediate reaction of Wenna was to run to the slippers and see. HAHA. try looking for that the next time you guys go to Taka.